Awkward silence can be the downfall of a promising first date. But fear not! With the right questions and conversation starters, you can ensure a lively and engaging interaction. Research has shown that a flexible communication style, filled with engaging questions and open-mindedness, is crucial for a successful date. Let’s dive into 21 first date questions that will not only keep the conversation flowing but also help you gauge your compatibility and spark interesting discussions.
Our Best First Date Conversation Starters:
1. Are you working on any personal passion projects?
This is my go-to question and it comes up very naturally if someone talks about
1. being busy
2. what they do for a living
3. any hobbies
It can transition you into a nice, broad discussion about hobbies and how they spend their
time. It’s so much better than “What are your hobbies?”
This question allows you to discover what truly excites your date and gives you insight into their interests and values.
2. What’s the best present you ever gave someone? Ever received?
If it is around the holidays or one of your birthdays, you can talk about presents. This is also a great one if there is a birthday in the restaurant you are eating in!
By asking about memorable gifts, you can learn about their thoughtfulness and the relationships that matter to them. Recalling positive emotions related to gift-giving can strengthen social bonds and foster connection.
3. What does a typical day look like for you?
Don’t ask, “What do you do?” Instead, ask them about their typical day. This question will give you much more robust answers and you will learn far more about a person than just asking, “What do you do?” You can find out if they are an early riser, how they spend their
free time, and, typically, their job will come up as well. I have found that you don’t really need to ask about their career–it usually comes up naturally.
Understanding their daily routine helps you grasp their lifestyle, priorities, and how they manage their time.
4. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done and how did it turn out?
Exploring experiences of spontaneity can showcase risk-taking behavior, adventurous spirit, and flexibility.
Embracing spontaneity and uncertainty can lead to memorable experiences, personal growth, and enhanced creativity.
5. Is there anything you don’t eat? Or What do you prefer to eat or drinks ?
This one comes up quite easily when you are at the restaurant. Whenever you are ordering food or something to eat on date, you can ask this question to know that she/he prefers. You can also ask what type of cold drinks they prefer. It can produce some really easy
conversation and might provide you with some great tidbits.
This question allows you to consider dietary preferences and potential compatibility when planning future dates.
6. What sort of vacations do you like to take?
People often ask, “Have you gone on any vacations recently?” However, someone cananswer that very quickly—and they might not have gone anywhere (which results inawkward silence).
Instead, try asking what kinds of vacations they like to take. Thisproduces great conversation and ample “get to know you” responses. Travel preferences can reveal a lot about a person’s sense of adventure, relaxation, and cultural interests. Talking abouttraveling can even get you a second date!
Professor Richard Wiseman conducted a studyand found that 18% of couples who discussed travel went on a second date, compared toonly 9% of couples who talked about movies.
7. Anything surprising happen today?
People often ask, “How was your day?”
Be wiser, charismatic and, ask them about what was surprising about their day. You also can try asking for their high point and low point. This will get less of a canned response such as “fine” or “pretty good.” So, Ask open ended question.
This question invites your date to share recent experiences and adds an element of spontaneity to the conversation. Sharing unexpected events can create a sense of shared experience and build rapport.
8. Describe a place that feels like home to you, and what makes it special.
Sharing personal spaces and feelings of comfort can reveal emotional connections, values, and sense of identity. Feeling a sense of belonging and connection to places can enhance well-being, emotional stability, and happiness.
9. Tell me about your closest friends.
Use this if they bring up a friend or a story with their friends. This is a great follow-upquestion that will help you get to know who they spend their time with.
Understanding their friendships can give you a glimpse into their social circle, values, and how they cultivate relationships. Strong social connections have been linked to improved mental and emotional well-being.
10. What were you like as a kid?
Exploring their childhood experiences can uncover formative influences, personality traits, and family dynamics. Recalling childhood memories can foster nostalgia, empathy, and deeper connections.
11. I’ve been watching ____ and love it. Have you seen any good movies or TV shows lately?
Sharing entertainment preferences can reveal common interests, values, and offer opportunities for future activities. Discussing movies and TV shows can facilitate bonding and create shared experiences.
12. Have you been to any good restaurants recently?
This question allows you to discuss dining experiences, food tastes, and culinary adventures.Shared meals and dining experiences are often associated with relationship bonding and intimacy.
13. Share a moment that changed your perspective on something important.
Sharing transformative experiences can deepen emotional connection, empathy, and understanding.
Vulnerability and emotional openness can facilitate trust and intimacy in relationships.
14. If you could live in any era, past or future, when would it be?
This type of question usually ask when you are too intimate with your mate. Exploring temporal preferences can spark imaginative discussions, reveal interests, and stimulate creativity. Fantasizing about alternative timelines can enhance cognitive flexibility and imaginative thinking.
15. What is something you’ve always wanted to learn or try but haven’t yet?
Discovering their aspirations and unfulfilled desires can uncover hidden passions, curiosities, and personal growth opportunities.Pursuing new experiences and learning endeavors can lead to increased happiness and life satisfaction.
16. What’s your favorite childhood memory and why?
Reflecting on nostalgic moments from childhood can evoke positive emotions, storytelling, and shared experiences.Recalling happy childhood memories can enhance mood, emotional well-being, and promote social bonding.
17. Share a book or movie that had a profound impact on you.
Discussing influential media can reveal values, interests, and emotional connections to storytelling.Engaging with impactful narratives can foster empathy, perspective-taking, and emotional intelligence.
18. If you could meet any historical figure, who would it be and why?
Exploring historical interests can lead to insightful discussions about values, cultural influences, and admiration.Discussions about historical figures can facilitate intellectual exchange, knowledge sharing, and mutual learning.
Bonus: Share Secrets
By sharing personal and emotional exchanges, you can promote connection, according to psychology professor Arthur Aron, psychology professor at State University of New York at Stony Brook. Take it a step further and discuss controversial topics, such as your stance on the upcoming presidential election or veganism. These types of conversations
fuel the brain and are far more interesting to us than the typical, dull, boring convos, according to Dan Ariely, psychology professor at Duke University.
Conclusion
Remember, these questions are not meant to be interrogative but should flow naturally in conversation. By engaging in thoughtful and meaningful dialogue, you can create genuine connections, foster emotional intimacy, and deepen your understanding of each other. So, the next time you find yourself on a first date, let these science-backed questions guide you towards building lasting connections.