Sure you’re nice—most people are. So what?
This quality reflects your feeling that you’re a man worth knowing and deserving of women’s attention. But do you really believe that women pay attention to what you think you deserve?
Being nice is not enough. Okay, fine, you’re nice, but you also need to be interesting.
Unfortunately, “nice guy” equates to wimp/dweeb in too many people’s minds.
Believe me: you don’t have to be a jerk to attract women!
As a matter of fact, women do not like jerks or aggressive men. They are attracted by challenging, interesting guys. That’s all. You can be interesting, challenging, and still a nice man. Be yourself but keep in mind these significant things that can make the difference between a regular nice guy and a successful one:
1. Women Love a Man Who Is a Challenge
Psychological research supports that people value things that are not easily attainable. The scarcity principle suggests that women are more likely to be attracted to men who present themselves as a bit of a challenge. Let women know you are successful with women. Be a nice guy, but one that is desirable.
2. Compliments Spark Attraction
The MOST EFFECTIVE way to approach a woman and spark her attraction for you is giving her a COMPLIMENT on her looks. This can be suicidal if done wrong… but just find something at her what you really think is special, different about her. You give attention, and you will get attention in return!
Research shows: Studies show that genuine compliments can increase the recipient’s self-esteem and positive feelings towards the giver (Gordon et al., 2012).
3. Be Self-Confident, Not Cocky
Not being aggressive doesn’t mean that you have to wait for madam perfection to drop into your lap (which you as a “nice guy” deserve by definition, of course). You have to take some initiative. BE SELF-CONFIDENT (but not really
cocky) and show some honest interest in something about a woman.
Psychological Proof: Confidence is universally attractive because it signals competence and the ability to handle challenges (Swami et al., 2007).
4. Women Love Romance
The best selling genre of books in the world is romance novels… because women LOVE romance.
So don’t talk about sport for God seek! If you are not the type of man that reads poetry or is able to talk about moon or about the smell of burned tree leafs, don’t do it. You’ll look unnatural. But taking your date in a romantic place, offering her a nice flower, enjoying some good music or even touching her hand in a delicate way is very romantic.
Research shows: Women are generally more attracted to romantic gestures because they trigger emotional connections and feelings of being valued (Hazan & Shaver, 1987).
5. Listen More Than You Talk
And don’t talk only about you. You want her to listen to you? Then first listen carefully to her when she needs to be heard. The most effective way to be interesting is asking questions and listens. Only try and you’ll see.
Tip: Don’t talk only about yourself. If you want her to listen to you, first listen to her. Ask questions and genuinely listen. Often, when a woman tells you about a problem, she’s looking for comfort and reassurance, not a solution.
6. Approach Women Who Are Interested in Dating
One of the most important things in dating is to approach women that are interested in dating and women that seem to be interested in you. Don’t try to sell candies to someone that is looking for peanuts and don’t waste your time with women that are still affected by their ex long term relationships. You don’t want to be just a shoulder to cry?
Social psychology suggests that matching interest levels is crucial in relationships. Pursuing women who are open to dating and showing signs of interest in you increases your chances of a successful connection. Avoiding women who are still emotionally attached to their exes prevents unnecessary emotional turmoil for both parties.
Keep in mind that often (not always, but very often) when a woman tells you about a problem she’s having, she’s not looking to you for the solution.
Research shows that women often seek emotional support rather than solutions. What she’s often looking for is comfort and reassurance and knowing that you’re there.
You only live once, so live your life well!