Table of Contents
1. What to Talk About on a Date
I’m sure you want your date to have fun and you want to have fun, too! You want to ensure that the conversation is interesting and stimulating to both of you.
Body language always speaks first in any conversation. When you are confident your body relaxes, becomes more open, you lean in, you smile, and you become more animated. When you are tense or not at ease with yourself, you will be sitting back, crossing your legs, maybe your arms, your mouth will barely break a smile, and your eyes will be searching elsewhere in the room. Knowing this will allow you to convey confidence with your body language.
Your verbal dating conversation skills will largely be judged on how able you are to create a conversation that your partner enjoys. Ultimately, that leads to you getting more dates. If you’re thinking this is obvious, yes it is! The question is HOW to create an interesting conversation.
Your dating conversation will be made up of you both asking and answering questions. If you ask the right questions, your partner is going to have fun. If you ask the wrong questions, they are going to ditch you. If you are evasive or less than honest when answering her questions, she is going to ditch you quicker.
Questions are powerful. Funny thing is that when a person is asked a direct question they somehow feel obligated to answer it. Here are some conversation starter question ideas for your first date:
“What do you love to do in your spare time?”
“What do you particularly enjoy about that?”
“If you could go on a fantasy holiday, anywhere in the world, where would it be and what would you do?”
By asking these questions you will cause your date to recall pleasant past experiences and share them with you.
2. Paying More Attention to Your Woman
Communication is such an important factor in all relationships, business and personal alike, that it should come as no surprise that we need to discuss it here as well. What is communication, after all? It is the two-way interaction that occurs, both verbally and non-verbally. What is said with actions is as important, if not more so, than what is said with words. But here we’re going to focus our attention on the importance of verbal communication and what it will mean for your relationship. Keep in mind that when I talk about how things affect your relationship, I’m mainly concerned with your success in the realm of seduction.
Communication with words is something we all do on a daily basis. But, just like when you’re asked to give an impromptu speech, being asked to communicate in a particular situation just makes many of you cringe, lock up, and find yourself at a loss for words. Why? Mainly because when you have to think about what to say, you suddenly become concerned about what you’re saying. But if you just let it happen without any expectations, somehow everything works out a whole lot better.
That being said, think of your past relationships and where communication failed you. Was it something you said in a particular conversation that you came to regret later? Or was it something she said that you either treated as unimportant or simply didn’t hear at all? Or could it have been a time when you should have said something to her, but didn’t, and the results were equally regrettable? Surely all of these have happened to nearly everyone at one time or another. The trick is to not let these past failures define how you communicate now and in the future of your current relationship.
Talking is something we all think about when we hear the word ‘communication’. But, unfortunately, that first thought is the wrong one if you’re looking for a good relationship with potential for romance. Talking will get you nowhere, and worse, it may cause things to fall backward or even to fall apart. When you talk, you’re expecting someone else to listen.
But what about the listener? When does she get the chance to be heard? That’s why it’s so much better to change your view from one of simply talking, to one where you see communication as the carrying on of a conversation.
3. Know What to Look for in a Woman
Sometimes, knowing what you’re looking for in a woman can be quite difficult. And if you’re one of them, don’t get discouraged. It truly isn’t as difficult as you may think to find the right woman for you.
The very first thing you must do is resign to be very open-minded. You need to cast aside all the standards that you may have been using and start from scratch. Forget what all your buddies say is attractive. Never mind what you see in the lingerie commercials on television. You’ll want to start with the very basics of what makes two people compatible, not two lovers, but two people in general, in order to find what kind of person works for you.
In order to find out what you are really looking for in a woman, you need to take the time to consider the complete person, not just the body. You need to take into consideration things like personality, interests, ambition and then looks. You’re probably wondering why I listed those traits in the order I did.
If you consider looks first it will tend to cloud your judgment on all the other traits. Men tend to be very easily visually stimulated. For this reason, what excites them at first sight tends to be what they think they want.
However, if you consider what you want in the other areas, the looks may not be so important. You may find that a woman with a great personality that likes football and racing as much as you do and who takes her career as a human resources director seriously, but who happens to be a brunette with only an average build, would suit you just fine. Personality, intelligence, ambition, sense of humor and interests play a much bigger role in attraction than just physical appearance.
4. Don’t Judge a Woman by Her Looks!
I know this tip may sound very cliché, but it’s true. At some point or another we’re all guilty of judging something, or someone, based on appearance alone. While it’s not right, we still seem to have that tendency to be superficial. This type of behavior can be very detrimental when it comes to seducing a woman. Women like to be appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. Even those women who have great physical beauty don’t necessarily want to be judged on that characteristic alone.
Women keep the thought in the back of their mind that one day they may want to have a child. If and when they become pregnant, look at all the changes their body goes through. The mere fact that their body has to expand at a very rapid pace to accommodate the growth of the baby is frightening. And the knowledge that their figure may never be the same is equally frightening.
Another thought that women have is that eventually we all get older and less youthful in appearance. We know that in general, a man is considered more distinguished looking when his hair takes on the salt and pepper look, whereas women merely look old. A few wrinkles on a man are no big deal, but for women the first sign of a wrinkle is cause to consider botox treatment, or more. Society has made women terribly self conscious. Bear in mind when considering what you truly believe is important in a woman. If looks is top on your list it will surely lead to a very dissatisfying experience for you, and your woman.
I’m not trying to say that you have to resolve to be happy with someone you find utterly unattractive. Women all have preferences in looks, personality and many other traits that we have to abide by. It’s a matter of compatibility. But what women do have to take into consideration is that attraction is not just a matter of physical appearance. So take the time to find out what’s inside before you discount women based on what’s outside.
5. Your Attitude Counts
When it comes to seducing a woman, attitude plays a very big role in how successful, or unsuccessful you are. If you have a positive attitude you’re more likely to attract women more easily than a guy with a negative attitude. Being positive and upbeat shows in nearly everything you do, as does being negative and glum. Women are much more likely to choose the positive, upbeat guys.
First, a positive attitude reflects confidence and self-respect. As we already discussed, confidence and self-respect are vital. A positive attitude also directly affects how other people feel when they’re around you. For example, have you ever had a friend or co-worker who was always down or pessimistic? If you have, did you notice that after a while his or her mood started making you feel down or uncomfortable or irritable? Chances are it’s happened to all of us. So remember, if for no other reason than to not be a dark cloud hanging over everyone’s head, try your best to be positive and have a good attitude.
But it goes much further than that. When you’re trying to make your best impression on a woman, being negative will not work. You have to feel good before you can make anyone else feel good. You have to radiate the same kinds of feelings you want to receive. If you’re not giving off those positive vibes we’ll pick up on it and most likely steer clear of you.
The bottom line: women like to find a man who’s stable. Part of what women judge stability on is your work. No, this doesn’t mean you need to be a rocket scientist. It simply means that if you’re changing jobs every couple of months, or getting let go for poor attitude or poor performance, which is directly affected by your attitude, then we’re going to think twice before we get involved with you. Remember, women are looking for a partner; a 50 – 50 relationship.
6. Building Your Confidence in Dating Women
When it comes to dating (or even seducing) a woman, confidence is vital. Women often equate “self confidence” with the ability to be successful. While many men believe that women look for successful men because they’re likely to make more money, that’s simply not true.
While it’s a given, women actually look for successful men because they’re more likely to be satisfied. So you may be wondering what a man being satisfied has to do with anything. Let me explain. You see, women know that men who are satisfied with themselves are less likely to go out looking for someone to satisfy them and are more stable.
And in a relationship that means a man will be less likely to cheat, or change jobs frequently or get himself into any number of other compromising situations. Remember that most women are looking for a man who will be their partner as well as their lover.
Not only do they want a partner when it comes to things like companionship, decision-making and finances, but in the bedroom, as well. In order to effectively seduce a woman you must make her feel as though you’re both equals.
When it comes to confidence, it seems there are two kinds of people – those who have it and others who simply don’t. Although on the surface this may be true, everyone has the potential to be “self confident”, or motivated if you would like to call it.
Take heart in knowing that you’re a good person, smart, funny, good at your job, loving, considerate or whatever else you find to be positive character traits that you have. Be comforted to know that NOT all women are looking for a CEO or brain surgeon. They just want a man who’s confident with who he is, what he knows and what he has to offer to a relationship with them!
7. Where to Go on Your First Date
That is an age-old question. Cave men had it made. They firmly believed in kidnapping and taking their date to a filthy cave out in the middle of nowhere. Those were what was known as the good old days. Now days first date destinations and plans are a little trickier. First let’s cover where NOT to go on a first date.
The old standby of dinner and a movie is a really poor choice for a first date. How will you get to know the lady if you are sitting in a darkened theater with a movie being shown? If you choose the movie, there is probably going to be a lot of frantic car chases and a lot of blood involved. Neither are conducive to creating a memorable evening.
Also, don’t take your date to your parent’s house! She will know right away that you are a mama’s boy and you will never see her again.
Don’t take your date to a sleazy bar with a motel out back. You will scare the poor woman to death. She will jump out of the car and hitchhike back to town believing that she would be safer with a burly truck driver than with you.
Now, some good first date ideas are:
Begin with a simple lunch or coffee date. You want to keep the date casual so suggesting meeting up for lunch or coffee can be a good start. This way, if the date didn’t go so well, you can end the date there but if you enjoy each other company, you have the rest of the day to spend getting to know each other better.
Here are some ideas of where to go if the lunch or coffee date tells you’re there is some good chemistry happening:
If it is the season, an amusement park or a theme park is a good first date idea. It doesn’t matter how old you are, we can all be big kids at heart. There’re so much you can do at amusement parks and theme parks that most likely you will forget about the dating pressure and just have fun.
Most well populated areas have an array of museums covering many different subjects. Visiting one that is dedicated to something that you have in common with the woman is another good first date idea.
