I’ll be sharing seven proven, effective tips that will help you get your ex back as quickly and easily as possible. Some of these tactics are brand new, some are a bit devious, but all of them can and do actually work. So if you want a second chance with your ex, keep reading.
Tip 1: Hide Your Emotions from Your Ex
As callous as it sounds, the truth is there’s nothing attractive about someone who is heartbroken and emotionally distraught. The more your ex sees you struggling to deal with the breakup and the emotions that come with it, the more you’ll confirm that they made the right decision by breaking up.
Now, I’m not saying that you can’t or shouldn’t feel depressed or heartbroken—those feelings are only natural after a breakup, and you obviously can’t completely control those emotions. But what you can do is hide them from your ex. Put on a happy face and try your best to make it look to those around you that you’re quickly recovering from the breakup and moving on to bigger and better things.
Another benefit of keeping your emotions hidden from your ex is that it upends their expectations. It’s the opposite of what they’re expecting after the breakup. Do they expect you to be desperate, heartbroken, and emotional? They don’t expect to see you quickly get back on your feet and start thriving again. This will make your ex question how and why you’ve gotten over the breakup so quickly and second guess whether they made a mistake in letting you go.
Tip 2: Use Reverse Psychology on Your Ex
Using reverse psychology on your ex can prove very useful. However, as with many of the tips I’ll share in this video, you do have to proceed with caution and make sure you’re using this advice properly and at the right time. If you do use this tactic correctly, it can have a very powerful effect.
For example, you could say something along the lines of, “You know what? I think it’s a good thing that we broke up. I think we really needed this time apart.” Or you could say something like, “I know it sounds crazy, but breaking up has been the catalyst I needed to make some real positive changes in my life. I think I’m going to see it as a good thing in the long run.”
Subtle messages like these can send a sneaky signal to your ex that you’ve moved on, forcing them to constantly wonder why your feelings have changed so dramatically. Sometimes, giving your ex this sense of loss can be enough to kick them back into gear and force them to start chasing you again.
Tip 3: Trust the Power of No Contact
No contact is one of the most reliable and time-tested strategies for getting your ex back. This technique has been effective for countless people, allowing many to get a second chance with their ex.
A 30-day period of no contact is typically recommended, though this can vary based on the specifics of your breakup. Even if you only manage a few weeks of no contact, it’s far better than nothing. This approach gives your ex the space to miss you, increasing the likelihood that they’ll want to rekindle the relationship.
If you’re curious about where you currently stand with your ex and whether you still have a chance, consider taking a free quiz or assessment that can provide insights based on your specific situation.
Tip 4: Use the Law of Pre-Selection to Your Advantage
It’s an important psychological trick that often works extremely well. By the way, this actually works if you’re single and looking for a potential partner as well, so in the event that you don’t want your ex back, this tip will still be helpful.
In essence, the law of pre-selection states that the more a person is highly sought after by the opposite sex, the more desirable they become to others. It’s basically a positive feedback loop: the more people who are attracted to you, the more others will find you attractive, and so on. Your ex is no exception.
Maybe you’ve observed this phenomenon in your life. Maybe a bunch of your friends had a crush on one person at work, and even though they might not be your type, the fact that your friends are clamoring over this person makes them seem a bit more appealing, right?
There are a multitude of ways to showcase pre-selection, but one of the best ways is through word of mouth. For example, think of a very chatty and gossipy mutual friend that you share with your ex, and ask him or her out for coffee just to catch up. Then, come up with a story about how there are two people who are constantly chasing you and keep asking you out. Make it an entertaining story so that it’s totally memorable. You’re banking on the fact that this chatty friend will blab to your ex about all the gossip they just heard.
Once your ex gets wind of how highly sought after you are, they’re going to start second-guessing their decision to break up with you.
Does all this sound a little abstract and unrealistic? I get that, but remember that this happens on a subconscious level for your ex. They won’t even realize they’ve fallen for the pre-selection bias, but they almost certainly will be affected by it, and they’re going to see you as more attractive as a result.
Tip 5: Always Be Positive Around Your Ex
We’ve already talked about the importance of hiding your emotions in Tip 1. As you’ll recall, I said that outwardly exhibiting negative emotions and heartache is a bad idea, especially if your ex sees it. But to take this even further, you can actually help your ex change their perception of you as a romantic partner by just generally being an overtly positive person.
It’s no secret that humans are genetically hardwired to prefer the company of positive people. Those who are often bad-mouthing others, always complaining about things, or constantly in a bad mood aren’t very enjoyable to be around. When it comes to your ex, it’s the same story. He or she will want to be around you more if you’re positive, upbeat, happy, and just generally friendlier and more fun.
You can obviously show your positivity and upbeat approach to life when you do see your ex in person, but I recommend generally being a positive person in all aspects of your life. This is especially true on social media and anytime you’re with mutual friends you share with your ex. Make an effort to be fun, upbeat, and positive, and your ex will eventually notice and be more attracted to you and more keen on spending time with you.
Tip 6: Learn to Say No and Refuse Your Ex
One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to get their ex back is that they become far too agreeable. They’ll roll over and do whatever their ex asks, no matter the circumstance. On the surface, this makes sense, but in reality, this is low social value behavior, and it will only push your ex further away.
Instead, don’t be a pushover. Learn to say no to your ex from time to time. By doing so, you’ll show your ex that you’re independent, that you have a backbone, and people are scientifically attracted to these characteristics. Once your ex sees that you’re standing up for what you want, you’ll become a lot more attractive to them.
Don’t be surprised if your ex begins texting you more and wanting to spend more time with you. This doesn’t have to be complicated or difficult. It can be as simple as occasionally letting your ex’s call go to voicemail or declining an invite to do something because you’ve already got plans. Just remember not to be too much of a pushover and have the confidence to show your self-worth and occasionally say no to your ex.
Tip 7: Leverage the Power of FOMO
You all know about FOMO by now—it’s the “fear of missing out,” that feeling we all get when we see our friends posting about something awesome on Instagram. You see your friends going sailing in Greece without you, and you can’t help but wish you were there. You feel like you’re missing out, right?
Well, you can induce this feeling in your ex’s mind pretty easily. All you have to do is showcase to the world that you’re living the best life possible. You can do this by showing off pictures on Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat. And honestly, you don’t have to book a sailing trip to Greece either. You can just show some videos or pictures from a fun hike or a weekend camping trip with a few friends.
Once your ex sees how much fun you’re having, you’re going to induce a lot of subconscious FOMO in their mind. It’ll only be a matter of time before they start messaging you and asking to hang out again, ensuring they don’t miss out on whatever other awesome stuff you have planned.
These seven proven tips can significantly increase your chances of getting your ex back. By thoughtfully applying these strategies, you can create the opportunity for a second chance at your relationship.
