First impressions last is the last impression. They really do. When women first meet you, they form an impression based on your body language, including your posture, movements, and gestures. Essentially, the way you present yourself through body language influences whether or not women find you attractive and appealing.
Body language has 5 important aspects, which are:
- Eye Contact;
- Facial Expression;
- Voice;
- Posture;
- Gestures; and
- Speed of Movement.
Eye Contact
Your very first point of contact with a woman. It can be a relatively unambiguous way for women to estimate how confident you are, among other things. Insecure people are hardly able to maintain meaningful eye contact with the people they’re talking to. It’s because when a person is hiding something about themselves that they’re not confident to have other people know, the natural tendency is to minimize or avoid eye contact altogether. That’s why on a gut level, people view those who can establish and maintain good eye contact as confident and trustworthy. That’s why when people who confront us about something want to see if we’re telling the truth, they tell us “Look at me in the eye and say…”
However, there’s a fine line between being confident and being creepy! There’s a difference between eye contact and staring! A good guiding principle is to look at 3 different points on a woman’s face for about 5 to 10 seconds before moving to the next point and so on.
These 3 points are her left eye, her right eye, and her forehead. By moving your eyes between these 3 points on a regular basis, you avoid staring. Also, every minute or so, look away from her for 1 to 3 seconds before coming back to establish eye contact. Again, the purpose of this is to establish that you’re not staring at her.
And if you’d like to really create sexual tension with a woman you’re attracted to, establish eye contact even if the both of you aren’t talking. Combined with a very subtle and relaxed smile, you can optimize your chances of making her attracted to you. In case you’re interested, scientific studies have noted that you can make a woman feel attracted to you by simply looking into her eyes without saying anything.
Remember Allison Krause’s song When You Say Nothing At All? Hmmmm. By doing this, you’re subtly communicating to her that you’re not afraid of her knowing that you find her attractive, which is what most men fear. You communicate in very certain but subtle terms that you’re confident that you’re in control of both yourself and her.
Your Facial Expressions
Have you ever said to a friend that you can tell that something’s wrong with them without them saying anything or even if they said everything’s good? If you have, then you already have an experience of the power of facial expressions when it comes to effective communications. For purposes of flirting with women and attracting them, here are the most important facial expressions you’ll need to master:
The Sexy Cute Look
This particular facial expression can significantly boost your chances of giving a solid first impression as that of a lover and not just a friend. Why? It’s because most men who are generally platonic almost never exhibit this facial expression. By consciously doing this expression, you can subtly communicate to women that you’re confidently sexy, bold, and even naughty. This look is characterized by:
- Chin tucked in and your eyes looking upward;
- Lips drawn into a smile that has a tinge of playfulness and slightly pursed;
- Eyebrows that aren’t neutral, i.e., either down or up;
- Something near your face, like a hand or another object, to draw attention to it (optional); and
- Eyes peeking out from the sides of your sockets, with your head turned slightly for added sexiness.
The Affirmation Smile
This facial expression subtly communicates to a woman your approval as if to say “Ok, you got me on that one. That’s good.” The value of this facial expression is that you establish yourself as a person who is confident because this sends the subtle sign to a woman that it’s her who needs to earn your approval and not the other way around. This facial expression’s characterized by:
- A legit smile where your eyes crinkle at the edges (fake ones don’t produce eye crinkles);
- A relatively wide smile where one side is wider than the other;
- Some teeth showing but with the mouth semi-open only while smiling, giving a mixed vibe of warmth, friendliness, and sexiness;
- Slightly raised eyebrows, which is barely noticeable; and
- A slight and slow backward tilt of the head that’s closely followed by a forward nod to go back to the original position.
Your Voice
Ever wondered why Barry White is considered a very sexy man by many, many women even if he isn’t that handsome? Check out his voice and you’ll see why. It’s rich, deep, and sexy! However, a big chunk of the quality of your voice is genetic. That’s why as much as you’d like to have a voice like Barry’s, it’s impossible. But there’s good news: your voice doesn’t have to be as deep and rich as Barry’s to be attractive to women. There are things you can do to make your voice sound as good as it possibly can to make you more attractive to women.
One of them is by learning to speak from your belly and not your throat. Speaking from your throat makes your voice sound thin because it lacks the force and strength of a deep breath. If you speak from your belly, your voice has more force and volume making it sound as full and rich as it can possibly be. How do you know if you’re speaking from your throat or belly? Try reading the last paragraph and pay close attention to your head. If you don’t feel any vibration on your skull, it means you’re speaking from your throat and not your belly. If you feel the vibration on your skull, it’s a sign that you’re speaking from your belly.
One good exercise to help you make speaking from the belly a habit is belly breathing. As you inhale, be conscious to let your belly expand instead of your chest. Inhale as much air as you can for 5 straight seconds and expand your belly, hold it for 5 seconds, exhale as much air as you can through the mouth for 5 seconds, and hold for another 5 seconds before repeating the cycle several times more. When inhaling and exhaling, do it in such a way that you reach your inhale limit and exhale all possible air from your lungs at 5 seconds – no earlier, no later.
Your Posture
Whether sitting or standing, your back should be straight, chest out, and shoulders back. Why? If I ask you to see in your mind’s eye a person who lacks confidence, how would that person look? Exactly – a person whose shoulders are slouched forward, chest drawn in, and back hunched forward. Another posture that will help you project confidence is one that takes as much space as possible whether sitting down or standing up. Why is this a sign of confidence? It’s because it shows that you’re not afraid of other people commenting negatively about you taking up more space than you ought to. If you’re sitting, spread your legs and don’t squeeze your arms to your body to make room on your sides. If people really need to take a seat beside you, let them ask you before you give the space to them.
Refusing to do it isn’t confidence – it’s arrogance and entitlement. Remember, confidence is the objective and not being a jackass. The last component of a good posture is having your head looking straight ahead and not looking down, which is an indication of poor self-confidence. Only confident people can hold their heads high, which is what you need to convey to a woman to attract her.
Your Gestures
There are many gestures we can discuss that will not fit into this book, but some of the most important ones include:
- Hand Gestures: As a rule of thumb, the more visible your hands are, the better. Talking to a woman with your hands in your pocket can subtly communicate insecurity. So when talking to a woman, feel free to emphasize your talking points with hand gestures appropriate to what you’re saying. A man who freely uses his hands to gesture as he talks is a sign of passion and confidence, both of which many women find sexy.
- Head Gestures: Nodding with the right facial expression can communicate to a woman you’re talking to that you are the one giving the approval and not her. Tilting your head slightly sideways as she’s talking can subtly communicate to her that you’re currently evaluating what she’s saying and, as such, she needs to earn your approval. This can be a very powerful attraction generator because most guys fall head over heels in doing just about anything just to please women and get their approval. By subtly communicating to a woman that she’s the one who needs to earn your approval, you intrigue her, challenge her, and make her see that you’re a cut above all the other omega males she’s ever encountered.
The Speed of Your Movement
When it comes to exuding confidence and attracting women, one of the most powerful ways to do it is to slow down your movement, e.g., your walk, your talk, your nod, and the way you sit down and stand up. Why? People who are always in a hurry are people who aren’t confident in control. Why? It’s because they’re being controlled by their situations. By having to hurry, it shows that a person is worried about failing to accomplish what he needs to. And that can be a very powerful attraction killer. Confident people – those who know that they have things under control – never hurry. It’s just a fact! So by slowing down most of your movements, you can subtly communicate to any woman that you’re confident everything’s alright and under your control. And as you may have learned by now, it’s about subtly but powerfully communicating to women that you’re a very confident man who’s in control of himself, his environment, and his women.
Here’s a practical way to create, amplify, and maintain attraction with a woman. When she asks you to get her a drink, don’t hurry to get up and get that drink. Tell her “In a bit.” and after a minute or two, slowly go get her that drink. Don’t show any semblance of hurrying up to please her. The moment you do, your confident facade will start to have cracks and eventually crumble.
In conclusion, mastering your body language involves being aware of and controlling these key aspects: eye contact, facial expressions, voice, posture, gestures, and the speed of your movements. By doing so, you project confidence and control, both of which are highly attractive traits that can significantly influence a woman’s perception of you from the very first impression. Remember, confidence is subtle and composed, never rushed or desperate.