So you made a success of it; you found a match online, and now you’re meeting up? Congratulations! The hardest part of the journey is over, and now the fun begins. But remember that first impressions do count. If you’re not careful, you could still mess things up at this stage. With this in mind, here are my top tips for your first face-to-face meeting:
Firstly, make sure you choose the right venue. This may seem obvious, but the choice of location can really make or break a date. Ideally, you should choose somewhere that’s public, with people around but where you can still hold a conversation. The ambiance of your surroundings plays a significant role in shaping the vibe of your date.
Meeting at your house or your date’s house is a definite no-no. This not only sends the wrong signals for a first date but could potentially be unsafe. No matter how well you think you know someone online, they could still turn out to be a real-world psychopath. Even worse, they could be really boring and fail to take the hint when it’s time to leave!
Cinemas are often regarded as good venues for dates, but think about it—you’re stuck for up to three hours with your date in a place where you can’t talk or even look at each other properly. Is that really the best environment to make an impression? Likewise, the main dance floor at Ministry of Sound is not ideal for an involved conversation. Consider how vital communication is in building a connection.
Of course, this is not a definitive rule. You might have gotten chatting in the first place through a shared love of films or dance music. But for the majority of meetings, a small, intimate café or quiet pub provides the perfect environment for a little light conversation, some flirting, and plenty of eye contact. This personal connection is key to a successful date.
Another point to consider is the time of day for your meeting. The time can significantly impact the mood of the date and the expectations you and your date may have. Think about what kind of date you want to have. What do you know about your match already? Is he or she an all-night party animal or an afternoon tea-on-the-lawn type?
Studies show that our intentions in online dating are perceived differently depending on the time of day we choose to interact. This also applies to ‘real world’ dating. If you’re serious about looking for a long-term partner and you think this match could possibly be ‘the one’, you should consider meeting earlier in the afternoon or evening.
This choice gives the impression that you are a more sober and dependable character, and that your intentions are honest. If you’re more into playing the field or are aiming for a more casual and fun relationship, then meeting up later in the evening should be fine.
Of course, the time of day and venue have to work together. Cafés, art galleries, and perhaps a visit to the aquarium are all classic afternoon or early evening activities. They leave time for you to continue to a bar or restaurant later if things are going particularly well.
Late-night dates are better suited to more upbeat or raucous activities. Consider gigs, ten-pin bowling, or maybe a spot of salsa dancing. These types of venues and activities create an atmosphere that can be more conducive to fun and light-hearted interactions.
Once again, there is no definitive formula that will help you choose the perfect setting for your date. Think about what you know about the person you’re meeting up with and what the two of you have in common. Try to choose a date scenario that reflects this.
Above all, have fun, relax, and be safe! A date should feel like an enjoyable experience, not a stressful obligation. When you’re relaxed, you’re more likely to be yourself and connect with your date authentically.
Additionally, prepare for your date. Reflect on potential topics of conversation and shared interests you might have discovered during your online exchanges. This preparation can help ease any nerves and ensure that you have a few conversation starters ready. Being proactive in your conversation can lead to a more engaging interaction.
Also, consider your appearance. While it’s essential to be yourself, making an effort with your appearance shows that you value the occasion and your date. Choose an outfit that makes you feel confident but comfortable. When you feel good about how you look, it can significantly impact your demeanor.
As the date progresses, keep the conversation flowing. Ask open-ended questions that invite your date to share more about themselves. Avoid dominating the conversation or making it all about you. A balanced exchange fosters connection and shows genuine interest in your date.
Remember, body language is crucial. Maintain eye contact and be mindful of your posture. Leaning slightly forward can signal engagement and interest. Mirroring your date’s body language subtly can also create a sense of rapport.
If you feel a connection, don’t be afraid to express your interest. A compliment here and there can go a long way. However, ensure your compliments are sincere and not overly generic. Personalized compliments resonate better and show that you’re paying attention.
Should the conversation take a lull, don’t panic! These moments are entirely normal. You can use these pauses to enjoy your surroundings or even order a new drink or dessert. Sometimes, a little silence can create a comfortable atmosphere.
As the date nears its end, gauge your date’s mood and whether they seem interested in continuing the evening. If things are going well, suggest moving to another location for a nightcap or dessert. This can signal that you’re enjoying their company and are interested in spending more time together.
Finally, regardless of how the date goes, always be respectful and courteous. Thank your date for their time, and if you enjoyed the meeting, express your desire to see them again. Leaving on a positive note sets the stage for future interactions.
For more tips on face-to-face meetings, see part 2 of this article. Remember, dating is a journey, and each experience teaches you something valuable about yourself and what you want in a partner.
Enjoy the adventure!
