In the first part of this article, we looked at choosing the right circumstances for your perfect date. Now let’s take a look at the most important part of the equation – you! Thinking about making the best possible impression on your date, here are a few dos and don’ts:
Do – Shower, brush your teeth, and wear clean clothes! Ok, ok, so that sounds like the most obvious thing in the world, right? Wrong! Good personal hygiene is really essential to successful dating, and many people make this basic blunder when meeting their match.
Don’t – Dress like you’re going to a job interview. Maybe if you’re going to the opera or a posh restaurant, a suit or gown is appropriate; likewise, if you dress smartly all the time anyway and you feel comfortable that way, then go right ahead.
However, if your usual attire is baggy slacks and a T-shirt, you might want to consider tarting yourself up a little to show that you care. But digging out that old wedding suit and slathering a pound of Brylcreem over your hair is not going to make you seem appealing. Dress like yourself – wear what you feel most comfortable and confident in. This will allow your true personality to shine through, which is ultimately what your date is interested in.
Do – Try to relax and be confident (but not cocky!). If you’re typically nervous on dates, try some breathing exercises. Breathe steadily in through your mouth and out through your nose, counting slowly to seven in your head for each breath. Controlling your breathing in this way also lowers your heart rate and blood pressure, making it easier for you to relax into the situation.
Some people find that a small drink before a date helps to calm their nerves; this is not a bad solution BUT…
Don’t – Get stinking drunk before or during your date because you’re nervous. Many people find they drink more quickly or heavily in pressure situations. Not only because the alcohol helps us feel relaxed but because it gives us something to do with our hands and mouths. Keep an eye on the level in your glass; try not to drink too quickly, especially if your date is not doing so. If you do find yourself drinking particularly quickly, try making every other drink a soft one.
Do – Make good quality conversation with your date. This means having plenty to talk about but also allowing your date space to talk – try not to dominate the conversation. If you’re worried about drying up in conversation, try looking back through the messages you have previously exchanged; what do you already know about your date? Think of questions you can ask that will give your date plenty to talk about without being too probing.
Consider asking open-ended questions that require more than a simple yes or no answer. For instance, instead of asking, “Did you have a good weekend?” try, “What was the highlight of your weekend?” This invites your date to share more about themselves and encourages a deeper conversation.
Don’t – Talk about your ex all night! This is one of the worst faux pas you can make on a date. It’s okay to make a passing mention or respond to a question (briefly!), but in the main, your date is not going to want to hear about your previous failed romances.
You should also avoid talking about your health problems, asking inappropriate or overly prying questions, or making poorly chosen comments about your date’s appearances. “I like your hair/earrings/tie” is probably a safer bet in most circumstances than “What a great bum you have!”
Above all, do remember that a good date should be fun for both parties. If you’re relaxed, having a good time, and being yourself, then you’ve immediately improved your chances of a successful dating experience.
Consider also sharing a bit about yourself to keep the conversation balanced. Talk about your interests, passions, and hobbies. You might be surprised to find common ground with your date. Find shared interests early on, as this can help build rapport and create a more comfortable atmosphere.
When you share stories about your life, try to keep them light-hearted and positive. Avoid heavy topics that can bring the mood down, like politics or religion, unless you’re both open to discussing those subjects.
As you converse, pay attention to your date’s body language. This can provide insights into how they are feeling. Are they leaning in and making eye contact, or are they crossing their arms and looking away? Responding to these cues can help you gauge the chemistry between you two and adjust your approach accordingly.
If you notice your date seems bored or distracted, don’t hesitate to change the subject or suggest a new activity. Being adaptable and attentive can turn things around and keep the energy positive.
Do remember to smile and maintain a warm demeanor. A genuine smile can go a long way in making your date feel at ease. It creates a welcoming atmosphere, inviting your date to relax and be themselves.
Don’t forget to listen actively. Sometimes, the best way to make an impression is to be genuinely interested in what your date has to say. Nod, maintain eye contact, and respond appropriately to show you’re engaged in the conversation.
Remember, dating is as much about connecting with another person as it is about making a great impression. A strong connection often leads to laughter and fun, which can help ease any tension or nerves you might have.
Finally, be prepared for the unexpected. Sometimes dates don’t go as planned – a restaurant might be too loud, or your chosen activity might not be as enjoyable as you hoped. If things start to feel awkward, don’t be afraid to make light of the situation. A little humor can go a long way in diffusing tension and bringing back the fun.
In summary, by following these dos and don’ts, you can maximize your chances of having a successful first date. Remember to be yourself, stay engaged, and keep the atmosphere light and fun. With these strategies in hand, you’re well on your way to creating a memorable experience for both you and your date.
