You may not agree, but it seems to me that blind dates are high on the list of things that everyone loves to hate. I have just one question – why?
Apparently, there are a number of myths about blind dates that are ruining their reputation. If you’re interested in exploding those myths and learning how to make blind dates productive and even enjoyable, this article is for you.
Myth #1: Blind dates are silly because you can just as well meet someone spontaneously.
Fact: Let’s face it. If you’re working full-time, how many opportunities do you have to suddenly meet a potential dating partner?
Think about it. The majority of married couples will tell you: They did not meet at a club or in college. Someone introduced them. The sooner you accept that a blind date can be the most valuable tool in searching for your soul mate, the sooner your whole outlook on blind dates will take a positive turn – and so will your ability to utilize them.
Meeting someone spontaneously may sound romantic, but the reality is much different. In our busy lives, the chances of just bumping into “the one” are slim. Blind dates create a structured opportunity to meet someone new with the potential for a meaningful relationship. It’s a chance arranged for you to find compatibility, so don’t dismiss it!
Myth #2: Your first impression on a blind date is usually correct. Go with it.
Fact: The area where first impressions count least might just be blind dates.
Anyone can be nervous on a first date or have had an awful day at work. Be honest: Do you show who you really are inside on that first, blind date? Well, neither does your date. Instead, look at it as an icebreaker. Don’t make any decisions if they’re based on mere impressions. Just relax and enjoy the evening as much as possible. Don’t let first impressions get in the way.
People often judge too quickly on a blind date, forgetting that nerves and external circumstances can affect behavior. Give it time! Let the conversation flow, and you might find that your initial impression was far from accurate. You might find humor where there was only silence or warmth behind an awkward smile. Remember, the first date is just a start, not the end.
Myth #3: If you don’t click right away, then you aren’t right for each other.
Fact: Although many of us expect to click instantly with the person who is right for us, in reality, that doesn’t happen too often.
Instant connections are rare, and for most people, they take several meetings to develop. So if you find that you have a few things in common, or some aspects of your date’s personality appeal to you – that’s enough to go out on a second date.
Think about it this way: meaningful relationships often build gradually. Some of the strongest connections start slowly. Don’t dismiss the opportunity just because there wasn’t an immediate spark. Give the interaction a chance to deepen. You might be surprised by how things evolve once you get more comfortable with each other.
Myth #4: If you don’t feel physically attracted very early on, you never will.
Fact: Even though physical attraction is an obvious requisite for marriage, it does not necessarily come instantly.
If a man prefers women who are tall, dark, and exotic looking, then when he goes out with a petite, blonde, blue-eyed woman, it will take him another date or two to appreciate her looks, no matter how beautiful she is. The thing is that, when you begin to like a person for who they are, you find yourself appreciating their physical appearance, too.
Attraction isn’t always immediate. In fact, it often grows over time as you get to know someone’s character, sense of humor, and kindness. The more you learn about someone, the more their unique qualities stand out, and that’s when true attraction starts to form. Don’t rush to judge; allow yourself to discover the deeper aspects of your date.
How to Survive and Enjoy a Blind Date
Now that we’ve dealt with the myths, we can get down to some practical advice: How to survive and enjoy (!) a blind date – and how to set the stage for date number two.
1. Don’t spend more than a few minutes talking about your job. Your date wants to see who you are and if you have the personal qualities they think are important in a future spouse. You are not going to impress the other person by showing them what an accomplished business executive you are. A date is not a job interview. Show the softer side of your personality.
Instead, focus on aspects of your life that reflect your passions, hobbies, or dreams. Share a funny story, talk about a recent adventure, or discuss something you are genuinely excited about. These topics are much more engaging and provide a better insight into your personality.
2. Be a good listener. Remember, you want to get to know the person you’re with. Show a genuine interest in your date by picking up on a hobby, interest, or project that she mentioned. Let him know that you’re interested in what he’s saying.
Listening is a skill that often goes unnoticed, but it is incredibly valuable. It’s not just about waiting for your turn to speak; it’s about genuinely engaging with the other person’s words, reflecting on them, and responding thoughtfully. Ask questions that show your curiosity and openness.
3. Keep the conversation light. You do not want to reveal your deepest secrets to someone you hardly know and are not sure if you will ever see again. And they don’t want to hear you pour your heart out over whatever may or may not be going wrong in your life.
A good rule is to stick to “airplane talk” – the kind of information you would share with a complete stranger who is sitting next to you on a flight. This could include topics like favorite movies, books, places you’ve traveled, or even funny anecdotes. Keep it light, fun, and positive.
4. If it’s hard for you to make small talk, practice beforehand. Not everyone has the gift of gab. If you don’t, then practice ahead of time by going over possible topics of conversation. If you’re really shy, then role-play with a friend and walk yourself through that first date.
Think of a few icebreakers or open-ended questions that could lead to interesting discussions. The goal is to keep the conversation flowing without making it feel like an interrogation. Also, remember to be yourself—authenticity is more attractive than any rehearsed line.
5. Some ideas for conversation on that first date: These ideas will help you stimulate the kind of conversation you want to have on a first date – conversation that will help you learn a little bit about each other’s values and way of thinking, and will also form the basis for more conversation on the second date.
- Who do you most admire? How did they inspire you?
- What has been the most satisfying achievement of your life?
- Is there something you’ve dreamt about doing for a long time?
- What is your most treasured possession, and why?
These questions aren’t just icebreakers; they’re a gateway to understanding your date’s values and personality. They create a space where both of you can open up and connect on a deeper level.
6. Don’t stretch the date out for too long. There is a limit to how much conversation two people can sustain when they go out for the first time. The ideal first date should last between two and two and a half hours, and should give both of you the opportunity to talk in a pleasant and relatively quiet atmosphere.
A walk through a beautiful park followed by a good cup of coffee and dessert is great. Men, if you are dealing with social expectations that demand that you take her out for a costly evening, take this advice anyway. Don’t go for a five-course meal. And if you’re going to a concert, make sure you have time either before or after to talk with each other.
Keep things simple and relaxed. The goal is to enjoy each other’s company and leave enough to explore for the next time.
Conclusion
Now that you’ve exploded the myths and gotten some great advice, you can put it to work. Next time you have a blind date, keep all this in mind and see the difference!
Blind dates don’t have to be dreaded events. With the right mindset and approach, they can be a delightful way to meet new people and potentially find someone special. Be open, be patient, and most importantly, be yourself. You might just surprise yourself with how much you enjoy the experience!
