Hurricanes really suck. Even if they do not reach you, they still threaten your safety net. Florida survived last year’s attack of Mother Nature, so we are a little more courageous this year. Not much, but a little. I would love to meet the person that pissed her off (Mother Nature). Not only does she get even, but she does it with a vengeance.
That’s like PMS & Menopause all wrapped up. So, for all you poor souls that are in for that ride (PMS & Menopause) and have no clue what it is all about, think hurricane. It can turn in a second and destroy you.
Oh, and it has many names also, like: bitch, nag, crazy, nuts, annoying, female, insane, messed up, pms’ing, hallucinating, on drugs, stupid bitch, mentally challenged—and that’s just a few. Except they are not in an alphabetical order like the hurricanes. OK, so we are disorganized. BITE ME! You seriously have to be PMS’ing to be able to understand (winks).
I can only hope that everyone gets as many laughs as I have so far typing this.
OK, now onto more serious matters in life. Today I received a question from a guy. Here is what he said:
“Posted by Anonymous
The last woman I was involved with was quite full of herself. So then why did she dump me?”
And my answer to him was this…
“Posted by Dorothy
Hey there, sorry to hear about your being dumped. Not knowing either of you, it is really hard to answer that question. There are many reasons for people walking away from a relationship. It could have simply worn out. Also, they could have found someone else. Either way, it sucks, and you have to deal with the pain and learn to get on with your life.
It is a challenge, but it does make you aware of what being human is all about. There is a saying: “If it doesn’t kill you, it will only make you stronger.” Also, I am a firm believer in: “Things do happen for a reason.” Hang in there, things will get better if you let them. Take care, and thank you for sharing that with me.”
“Being Dumped” really is one of the worst experiences, short of death that we, as humans, face in our lives. They say that the death of a loved one is easier to learn to live with than a break-up, “Being Dumped,” or rejection.
All of the above tell us that we are unacceptable to someone. We immediately turn it into ourselves, and that’s when the self-blame seed is sown. Through self-blame, we begin to feel shame. Shame is so painful that no one talks about it or even wants to think about it. Shame is the least identified emotion we as humans deal with because we are ashamed of our shame.
Shame is yet another negative emotion that captures and imprisons us in a pit of hell. It pulls us into a life of silence and inactivity, lying and hiding our true fears. When we are rejected in any situation, it is a true hit to our self-esteem. If we are weak in that area, then our fall is going to be very hard. If we are strong in that area, we will quickly become weak.
I wrote this in a recent blog:
“When we first fall in love; what is that saying, ‘Love is Blind’? Ha! Now that’s funny because it really is blind. We trust so instantly and genuinely that we potentially set ourselves up for the biggest fall in our lives. Why is that? Is it because we are so driven by nature to want to trust someone? Or is trusting someone just a happier, easier way of life?”
So there it is. We as humans live to love and want to be loved. We are blinded by the romance of the word LOVE. We are made happy by the word LOVE, but we are also hurt by the word LOVE. So why do we continually set ourselves up?
We are gambling, and we do not even know it. Or is life simply just that, a gamble? The bottom line is, no one wants to get “DUMPED” because it is not in our nature to know how to accept it.
How many of you have been “DUMPED” and just knew that your life had ended? You just knew that you would never see anything the same again.
Being Dumped: Just Plain Sucks!
Well, you were partly correct there. It is like any other change in our lives. Things will be different than we are used to. Your life has definitely not ended. Yes, your partnership has ended with a person, and maybe it was not expected, but neither are hurricanes or wars.
We deal with it all; we have to. We choose to survive. Think of it as starting a new life. Newness is positive and healthy. Look at things differently, and embrace all that newness. Do not fear it. “BEING DUMPED” is just another chapter in your book of life.
If you had no chapters, think how dull your book would be. Now, you can open yourself to another chapter, and believe me, there are many. If you spend the rest of your life wondering all the “WHY’S,” just think: you have wasted even more of your precious time on something that has chosen another road.
As for the fact that a person is full of themselves, that really has nothing to do with the “Why’s” of “Being Dumped.” Even the most confident people close doors on relationships. They, in fact, have more courage to do so than a person of less confidence, or being less full of themselves, so to speak. Who knows? All we know is that the decision has been made, and you, as a person with intelligence, must turn the page.
Getting stuck in that feeling just makes therapists rich. (wink) Life offers many, many humps and bumps. We trip and fall over and over again.
The trick is to get real good at picking yourself up and dusting off the old dirt. This is life. I told my daughter, when she was struck by her first cupid’s arrow, “If you are going to get emotionally involved, be prepared to get emotionally uninvolved.” It’s life!
One very important thing we must remember: when we are at the bottom and we feel we are worthless and will never ever TRUST again, it’s nothing more than a human emotion. We know it as doubt. We can overcome doubt very easily.
Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are UNIQUE, and you are going to make happiness your goal. You must risk all the falls to reach that goal.
Letting yourself believe that you are deserving of another relationship is truly a risk—again, another gamble. But what is life without a little risk? We have the power to overcome our negative self. We just need to DO IT!
