To your surprise, there will probably be more things that you may want to avoid doing to win the favor of your man and get a chance at the “All Might Pampering.” In some cases, you may want to avoid doing certain things if you want to keep him comfortable pampering you. This makes this article useful for women who are getting pampered and those who aren’t.
Try to keep it real with yourself and face the fact that no one owes you pampering—foot rubs, back rubs, or any other form of pampering you may desire. In today’s world, with women’s movements and the decline of chivalry, the concept of pampering has changed. You’re now being placed on the same level as men.
If you’re the type of woman who believes in equality, holds traditional values, or likes to pull either card when it’s convenient, guess what? It doesn’t matter anymore. Both types are being treated equally now, regardless of what you believe or hold dear. So, if your feet hurt after a long day at work or from walking through the mall, no one owes you pampering.
Communication: The Key to a Loving Relationship
Communication is still the number one key. Many women struggle with this, and it can be the main source of frustration in relationships. So that you can see if you’re having trouble in this area, here are a few pointers:
- If the words, “Darling, we need to talk,” make him grunt and groan like he’s in pain.
- If you used to get catered to but now it only happens when you request it.
- You feel like you’re bugging him by asking for anything.
- He’s told you outright that he’s not going to do it and explained why.
- When you try to communicate, it often ends in an argument.
You Can’t Change Him, But You Can Inspire Change
Remember, you can’t change a person. Change must come from within and with time. Being forceful or argumentative will only drive him away from the issue and possibly from you altogether.
And finding a new partner who will do the pampering? Well, the grass may be greener on the other side, but it still needs to be mowed.
So, when you communicate, keep it simple. Use the OUR #1 RULE: “Speak to him as you would have him speak to you.” Men feel more comfortable in conversations where they feel respected and honored.
For example, imagine one woman getting her “half-hearted foot rub” after arguing and harassing her partner. On the other hand, a woman who is sweet and persuasive might be getting an awesome foot rub, followed by a night out with the girls or a shopping spree.
How you approach him matters.
Be Persuasive, Not Argumentative
My woman’s girlfriend came home after a long day at work and asked her partner for a massage because her back and feet were aching. His response? His back and feet hurt too. Naturally, she got upset. But if she hadn’t, she might have noticed a light bulb moment.
Don’t be argumentative, be persuasive. She could have replied, “I’m sorry you had a hard day too, dear. Why don’t we take turns rubbing each other’s kinks out while we listen to those CDs we both love?”
Equality in Pampering: Give and Take
If you want to be catered to, you must be willing to cater to him as well. Remember, we’re equals now, right? Find out what he likes and how he likes it. Men enjoy being catered to as much as women do.
There’s not much difference between you two. You both handle emotions and life differently and communicate in different ways, but your struggles are the same.
Avoid Overdoing It: Balance is Key
Don’t overdo it. If pampering becomes an expectation rather than something appreciated, it’ll stop. The moment he feels it’s unappreciated, or that you wouldn’t reciprocate since you’re equals, the pampering might go out the door.
Barking out instructions during pampering is a major NO, NO. Instead, let him know how much you appreciated it during a conversation later.
For example: “Yeah, honey, when you gave me that rub, it was really nice.” Subtlety is key. Avoid discussing catering too often. Even nice words, when spoken repeatedly, can become irritating.
Don’t make him feel like he owes you for breakfast that morning or something you bought him the day before. This can be a huge turnoff and put a major damper on the pampering.
In some cases, your situation may differ from what I’ve described, and that’s okay too. Here’s a helpful summary list of things you can apply to win favor with your man and increase your chances of being pampered:
- No one owes you pampering.
- You cannot change anyone; change must come from within.
- The grass may be greener, but it still must be mowed.
- Be persuasive and sweet, not combative and forceful.
- Try not to give instructions during pampering.
- Speak to him as you would have him speak to you.
Pampering is a Two-Way Street
When it comes to pampering, it’s important to remember that it’s a two-way street. If you expect your partner to cater to you, be ready to return the favor. Men appreciate pampering just as much as women do. The trick is finding out what makes him feel special and offering that in return.
Men, like women, need appreciation. If you show gratitude for the little things he does, he’ll be more willing to pamper you without being asked. It’s about creating a cycle of give and take, where both partners feel appreciated and valued.
Don’t Expect, Appreciate
When it comes to pampering, expectations can be dangerous. If you start expecting to be pampered, it can lose its charm for your partner. Appreciate the pampering when it happens and make sure he knows that you do.
Barking orders during pampering can be a major turnoff. Nobody wants to feel like they’re performing a task under supervision. Let him pamper you in his way, and be grateful for the effort.
For example, instead of saying, “Rub my feet harder,” try complimenting him later: “I loved how you rubbed my feet last night.”
Keep Pampering Fun
Pampering should be fun for both of you. If it becomes a chore, it will lose its appeal. Avoid turning it into a duty or obligation. Instead, let it be something that happens naturally, without pressure.
When both partners enjoy pampering each other, it strengthens the bond between them. Pampering becomes a way to show love and appreciation, and it enhances the relationship.
Final Thoughts
If I could sum it all up, I’d say that the main focus from now on should be on changing your approach to getting your man to pamper you. Work on improving communication and finding ways to cater to each other’s needs.
Have fun out there, and remember, pampering is about balance, appreciation, and mutual effort.
