At some point, many of us have fantasized about dating a successful professional like a lawyer, doctor, or entrepreneur. It’s that ideal scenario we envision where everything seems perfect.
However, the reality of dating a professional single can be less glamorous. I’m not saying this in a negative way, but rather in a realistic sense—juggling schedules, striving for goals, and dealing with assertive personalities.
What is a Professional Single?
I guess in technical terms, it would be any single person who holds a “white collar” job. A business owner, an executive, a doctor, a lawyer—I think you get the idea. Someone who probably has a college degree, maybe several, someone who is driven to succeed, who probably enjoys the finer things in life, who doesn’t like excuses but relishes results. A person who wants to make the most out of their professional life.
They are not satisfied with a 9 to 5 career but are instead looking for every opportunity to succeed as far as they can in their given field.
Does that make them a bad person? Does that make them a person who cares for no one but themselves? Hardly. In fact, the world needs driven individuals like a professional single. Can you imagine where we would be if the Romans had not had so many driven people or if the Egyptians had decided that thinking big was too much? I’m not trying to get into a history lesson or morality debate here, I’m just showing what a person who is trying to get the most out of themselves can do. A single professional is certainly a person trying to get the most out of themselves.
Dating a Professional Single
What are the downfalls to dating a professional single?
Like any relationship involving two people, you will always have downfalls, so don’t be under the impression that dating a professional single will be any better or worse than dating a non-professional single. Those factors lie more in who the person is, not what their career is. I mean, if you date a jerk, you date a jerk. Whether he has on a $1500 suit or a pair of Levi’s overalls, he’s a jerk.
So, what are the downfalls to dating a professional single?
- Time away from home – This means time away from you. Professionals often have demanding schedules that require them to work late, travel frequently, or attend events outside regular hours. This can lead to long periods where you’re apart, which might strain the relationship.
- The job is always on their mind – You might be out on the perfect dinner date, but if a big deal is in the works, you should not be surprised if the cell phone rings and it’s answered. Professionals may find it challenging to switch off from work mode, as their career often occupies a significant portion of their mental space.
- Perfectionism – They may not be the tidiest person or remember to bring flowers, but in some way, all highly driven professionals are perfectionists. This drive for perfection can manifest in various aspects of their life, not just their work. Their high standards can sometimes lead to neglect in other areas, such as personal relationships or household chores.
- Job is first – Can you play second fiddle? Although this may not be true in every sense, in many ways, the job will come first. For a professional single, their career often takes precedence over personal matters. This prioritization can sometimes lead to feelings of neglect or undervaluation in the relationship.
How to avoid the downfalls of dating a professional single
Time away from home – Of course, they’re going to be going to the office every day, maybe out of town once a week or more and maybe even over a weekend. If they are very driven, you can expect all of these and more: late hours, early mornings, and numerous days when you might not see each other or even speak one-on-one.
The remedy? Communicate. Have an ongoing calendar; it won’t be perfect as things change, but it’s one tool in communicating. If you can see a schedule, it will help you understand what’s going on that week or day. Always talk once a day. Both of you must be committed to speaking to each other daily. It might be for only 5 minutes at 2 a.m., but it will make a difference.
The job is always on their mind – In every person’s professional career, especially early on, they are given responsibility to get the job done. This may entail them following up on every detail at all hours of the day and night. You must understand that this is part of working your way to the top.
More importantly, the professional you are dating must understand that although they might have to take a call at dinner, they should keep it as brief as possible and let their colleagues know that a call should only be made if it is extremely important or critical in nature. Communication once again plays a role in the relationship, for all parties involved.
Perfectionism – How hard is it to be perfect? Since no one that I’ve ever met is, it must be impossible. That being said, we probably all have idiosyncrasies that some would consider a trait of perfectionism.
Professional singles are no different; they must have details or actions within their jobs that require perfectionism; otherwise, the product or service they produce would be substandard, which is not the mark of a successful professional.
Take the perfectionism in stride and recognize you probably have some traits that drive your partner nuts. Identify, recognize, and adapt. Those three words will go a long way in helping you and your partner overcome your faults.
The job is first – Ouch, how can someone put something before me? Guess what, this happens whether the person is a professional single or an everyday individual. Something’s always going to be important to someone, and there may come a time when they have to choose you over that activity or function. Although this is a very black-and-white statement, the truth is there is no easy answer for this question.
In the case of a job, you would have to look at each incident to determine its worth. For example, if you had a date planned at 7 and you get a call at 6:45 that something came up at work, it’s okay to be upset.
More importantly, you need to judge the moment. Without being a nagger, you should find out what is so important that it can’t wait until tomorrow. If the answer is valid, you must put it in context with the relationship overall.
You knew going in that the career of the person was a big part of their life, so you should accept that with that commitment to career comes some sacrifice on your end. However, if you find out the reason for the cancellation is not a 911 emergency but a 411 pizza call, then you should reassess the person immediately. This would be a case of someone who is not honest, respectful, or committed to having a relationship.
Let’s summarize: Dating a professional single will probably entitle you to a lifestyle that leans towards the finer things in life and would probably ensure a future of financial stability and a golden retirement.
Dating a professional single will also bring you many hours of you time, interrupted plans, and until those retirement years, a backseat to the demands of a successful career.
If you are a person who can see a person for what they are and accept them for those strengths and faults, and if that person meets what you deem as the perfect mate, then dating a professional single is probably the best thing you will ever do.
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