Broken trust—ever been there?
Broken trust—ever spent sleepless nights because of it?
Broken trust—ever felt your stomach eat itself through the lining?
Broken trust—ever been so confused with what is real and what is not?
Broken trust—ever feel like your entire world has just turned upside down?
Broken trust—ever feel like dying?
If you’ve experienced any of these feelings, then you understand the agony of a trust betrayal, or broken trust. For lack of a better word, it just plain sucks!
I want to say that we need to experience a broken trust in order to really be able to feel an unbroken trust, but this is not so.
There are some experiences in life that no one deserves and dealing with a BROKEN TRUST is certainly one of the top ten.
Some people go through their lives never experiencing the feelings of betrayal or deception or a BROKEN TRUST. For them life is always good and on an even keel. They cannot even imagine what others, that have had even one of those experiences, is feeling or trying to explain.
Have you ever been so blinded by your affection for someone that you overlooked every warning sign? Have you noticed a warning sign and, after confronting your partner, believed them after some discussion but still had lingering doubts?
Have you ever discovered warning signs that were undeniable and, when you questioned your partner, they made you feel guilty for even thinking they had anything to do with it, yet in your gut, you knew you weren’t wrong?
Have you ever brought up solid issues with your partner because you needed to know the truth, only for them to get angry and accuse you of not trusting them? In these scenarios, the partner being confronted is either guilty or not.
They might be guilty with an honest explanation. They could be experts at reversing the attack, making you feel like the wrongdoer. Or they might pretend they have no clue what you’re talking about and ignore it altogether, making you feel like the problem if you persist in questioning.
Loving someone doesn’t mean turning a blind eye and agreeing with their every thought or decision. You, as an individual, have choices. If you feel threatened or betrayed, you have the right to address those feelings.
Just because you question your partner about an issue doesn’t mean you lack trust or love. Matters of the heart are incredibly tricky to navigate. One can become very defensive and perceive any question as a personal attack. That’s why emotional conflicts in relationships are so draining and confusing.
No one wants to mistrust their partner, but what are you supposed to do when certain signs keep appearing repeatedly? Love is only so blind. Some people go through life succeeding in their game of denial or turning the tables to suit themselves. These types are the hardest to deal with in a relationship. Eventually, you’re always the one feeling hurt and accused of not trusting. You feel hurt by what you perceive as wrong and defeated in what you believe is right. Because of your love for your partner and the desire to keep things happy, you stay quiet and try to “let it go.” Then you find yourself mistrusting even more because you are forced to decide about things in your own mind, fearing being wrong again. This is where a communication breakdown occurs in a relationship. Once that happens, both parties are on separate paths, sometimes never meeting on the same road again.
If you see yourself in any of these scenarios and care about your partner, you must not let communication fall to the wayside. Additionally, you must not take it as a personal attack but rather as a cry for help. It is they who are suffering from broken trust, and they need your patience and understanding. They are not enjoying their torment at all. In some ways, they are trying to share their pain with you. It may sound confusing, but to be human is to be a contradiction.
Life can be so fulfilling when we don’t have broken trust issues to deal with. We must also respect one another and not add to the confusion of a “normal” relationship by deceiving or belittling our partner. Relationships are at their best when both partners are at peace and respect one another!
Some hurts cannot be repaired, but at least they don’t need to be endured alone!
