Going through life, we all want to be liked. We want to have friends. We want to be interesting. We want to feel important. We want to attract friends and clients naturally. I’m sure you know people who are like that. So, how are they doing it? And even more important… how can YOU develop these abilities?
One of the most important ingredients is Acceptance. You must accept people as they are. So simple and yet sometimes so complicated, right? To make it easier, remember these things. People are not like you. They are not perfect (you also aren’t, and – even better – you don’t have to be!). You can’t change them no matter how hard you try. They might not have the same values as you and many times they won’t live up to your high expectations.
So I’ll make it easy for you: Accept and like people just as they are. In the long run, that will be more influential than any advice or lectures you have to give. This doesn’t mean you agree with everything they do or say, but it means you see them as they are without trying to mold them into your ideal. This creates an environment where people feel safe and understood, which naturally attracts them to you.
Another ingredient is Approval. No matter how many faults somebody has, you can always find something to approve of. Let people know it because seeing these things and mentioning them will make them grow. Remember our hunger for acknowledgment? If you start approving of character traits in people, you will satisfy this hunger, and you will probably make these people work on other character traits and skills to gain more approval. Praise people and watch them grow.
Imagine someone in your life who constantly points out your flaws. How do you feel around them? Likely, not great. Now imagine someone who sees the good in you and tells you about it. You feel uplifted and motivated. Be that person for others. It could be as simple as acknowledging someone’s effort or recognizing a kind gesture. This not only makes others feel valued but also nurtures positive traits and behaviors.
Last, but not least, the third ingredient: Appreciation. Next to love, appreciation is probably the most critical force in the universe. When do our marriages and jobs go sour? When we don’t appreciate them anymore. When we don’t appreciate what we have. And how do we make happiness and success grow? By appreciating what we have. Appreciate your spouse, your children, your employees, your boss, your clients and the most important thing: Let them know you appreciate them. Be grateful.
An excellent way to show your appreciation is to tell them, but there is more you can do. Don’t keep people waiting. Be punctual. Let them know you will be with them as soon as possible. Thank people. A very powerful way is to write people a thank-you note or letter. Treat people as special. Remember that we all want to be recognized for our uniqueness and worth.
Accept. Approve of. Appreciate. Use this formula to become a people magnet.
Acceptance
Acceptance is the cornerstone of an attractive personality. By accepting others as they are, you create an atmosphere of trust and safety. People are drawn to those who make them feel understood and accepted. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything someone does or says. It means you recognize and respect their individuality.
Here are some practical ways to cultivate acceptance:
- Listen Actively: Pay attention to what others are saying without interrupting. Show interest in their thoughts and feelings.
- Avoid Judgments: Refrain from making quick judgments about others. Everyone has their own journey and struggles.
- Embrace Differences: Celebrate the diversity in people’s backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives.
- Practice Empathy: Try to understand things from the other person’s point of view. This helps in building deeper connections.
Approval
Approval is a powerful tool to build positive relationships. Everyone has an inherent need to feel valued and acknowledged. By recognizing and approving of others’ positive traits, you boost their self-esteem and encourage them to grow.
Here are some ways to express approval:
- Compliment Sincerely: Find genuine qualities to compliment in others. Avoid flattery; be sincere.
- Acknowledge Efforts: Recognize the effort someone puts into their work, regardless of the outcome.
- Celebrate Achievements: Celebrate even the small wins. It shows that you notice and appreciate their efforts.
- Encourage Growth: Support others in their personal and professional growth by acknowledging their progress and potential.
Appreciation
Appreciation is a form of gratitude that reinforces positive behavior and strengthens relationships. When people feel appreciated, they are more likely to reciprocate with kindness and generosity.
Here are some ways to show appreciation:
- Express Gratitude: Regularly thank people for their contributions and presence in your life.
- Be Present: Give your full attention to others when you are with them. This shows that you value their time.
- Acts of Kindness: Small gestures, like helping out with a task or giving a thoughtful gift, can show appreciation.
- Written Notes: A handwritten note or a thoughtful message can make someone’s day and leave a lasting impression.
Conclusion
Developing an attractive personality is not about changing who you are but enhancing how you relate to others. By embracing the three A’s—Acceptance, Approval, and Appreciation—you create an inviting and positive presence that draws people to you naturally.
Remember, everyone you meet is fighting their own battle and seeking the same things: to be accepted, approved of, and appreciated. Be the person who offers these gifts freely, and you’ll find that people are naturally drawn to your positive and uplifting energy.
Incorporate these principles into your daily interactions and watch as your relationships flourish and your personal magnetism grows. You have the power to make a positive impact on the lives of those around you, simply by being accepting, approving, and appreciative.