Men often change their vocal tonality when talking to an attractive woman. Instead of speaking with their normal masculine voice, they speak in a higher pitch and use an overly friendly, agreeable tonality.
Doing this robs the interaction of its charge. Instead of a man-to-woman conversation with sexual tension, it becomes an emotionally flat, friend-to-friend interaction that would be more likely to end in a boardroom than a bedroom.
A deeper, more confident voice is one of the most powerful tools you can use to create attraction. Think about the men who stand out in conversations, commanding attention with their voice. It’s not just the words they say, but how they say them.
Fortunately, anyone can improve their vocal tonality. But doing so isn’t easy.
We don’t hear our voice the way other people hear it. We might think we sound “alpha” when we actually sound timid.
That’s a problem because you can’t change your vocal tonality until you know what you’re doing wrong.
There’s a simple solution to this predicament: record audio of yourself speaking into a microphone.
Even better, you can record yourself interacting with women. That might sound like an awkward thing to do, but you can actually record audio with almost no risk of anyone noticing.
Simply wear earbuds with a mic and rest them over your shirt (Bluetooth headphones also work well). Use the voice recorder app on your phone to pick up the audio of your conversations (iPhones have one pre-installed called Voice Memos. On Android, you can search “voice recorder” on the App Store).
Once you’ve got some audio of your interactions, listen to it and analyze what you’re doing well and what you could improve on.
Notice how your tonality is coming across: is it overly submissive? Confrontational? Monotone?
Look for anything about your tonality that can be improved. Maybe you could use more pauses, speak with more emotion, or vary the rhythm more.
Listening to your recorded voice will give you emotional leverage to make a real change. You might, for example, notice that you’re coming across as quiet and shy.
That’s actually a good thing. When you know your voice is timid, you will be viscerally motivated to add more assertiveness and masculinity to your voice.
You might be worried that your voice will sound cringe-worthy, but that is exactly why this exercise is so powerful. When you hear your mistakes objectively, you will have no choice but to improve.
Once you know what you want to change about your tonality, go out again, record your approaches, and listen to the new audio. Over time, you will hear a noticeable improvement.
I don’t recommend recording your approaches every day, that would be overwhelming. I suggest you do this exercise once every week or two. However, if you are determined to improve your vocal tonality, I do recommend that you take two minutes per day to record yourself at home (you can simply talk about something that happened in your day).
Make a point to focus on the qualities of a powerful voice that I talk about below. Afterward, review the audio and think about what you want to improve. If you do this exercise regularly, your voice will become increasingly charismatic and seductive.
The Qualities of A Powerful Voice
Now that we’ve covered how to start improving your voice, let’s dive deeper into what makes a voice seductive to women. Below are the key qualities to work on as you develop a more magnetic voice.
1. Breaking rapport:
Men often speak with a voice that rises in pitch towards the end of sentences when interacting with attractive women; this is called seeking rapport.
Seeking rapport is unattractive to women: you’re making your voice sound submissive to be unthreatening and likable.
When you speak in this tonality, you’re sub-communicating that you see yourself as having lower status than the person you’re interacting with.
This type of voice can destroy any attraction in the interaction. Women want to feel they are talking to someone confident, not someone who seems to be pleading for their approval.
The second type of speaking is neutral rapport. In this mode, your pitch remains the same throughout your sentences, and you sound monotone. Neutral rapport isn’t as bad as seeking rapport, but it does make you seem low energy and bored with yourself.
Breaking rapport tonality, on the other hand, is what you want to aim for. If your vocal pitch goes down towards the end of your sentences, you’re speaking in breaking rapport. This is attractive to women because it indicates that you’re not reacting to the girl: you’re asserting yourself without hesitation.
Tyler Durden in the movie Fight Club is a great example of someone who speaks in breaking rapport: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chyRpj-971o
2. Passion:
A lot of men speak without injecting any emotion into their voice. This makes them sound robotic.
An emotionless voice is like noise, whereas a passionate voice is like music. Attracting women is all about sharing emotions, and your voice is one of the most powerful tools you have to do that with.
You don’t have to be overly animated or sound like a motivational speaker, but showing genuine interest in what you’re talking about can be very engaging for a woman.
Eric Thomas is a great example of someone who speaks with passion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vuetQSwFW8.
Of course, you would seem crazy if you had normal conversations with that level of enthusiasm. A more reasonable example of a passionate speaker is Elliot Hulse: https://youtu.be/2-W4C5SIAUA
3. Pauses:
Pauses build tension.
If you speak without pausing, it will quickly feel like you’re trying to bulldoze over the other person instead of having a real conversation involving two people. Pauses give the interaction breathing room and show that you are comfortable with silence. Women will notice this calm confidence.
Pauses can also get the girl to invest more in her interaction with you. If you hold a pause for a few seconds, she will feel an urge to fill in the silence by asking you a question.
Thirdly, pausing adds rhythm to your speaking, making it more dynamic and interesting.
The best example of using pauses I’ve ever seen is the spiritual teacher, Osho: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY9aw5cQRDQ. Of course, he takes pausing to an extreme that I don’t recommend you emulate, but he demonstrates how to create intrigue and tension with silence.
4. Varied tonality and rhythm:
When someone speaks with a monotone voice, we tune out because it feels like reading binary.
Speaking with a variety of tones will make you much more engaging. A new tonality perks up our attention because it’s unexpected; it adds variety and richness to your conversation.
Varying the rate of your speaking between slow and fast will also make your voice more interesting to listen to. Rhythm is especially useful for emphasizing important points (by speaking slower).
Also, if you speak too fast in general, you’ll make women feel that you’re nervous. If this is the case, slowing your voice down will make you substantially more attractive.
5. A Deep Voice:
If your voice is deep, everything you say will exude masculine energy. You don’t need a deep voice to attract women, but it’s an advantage (like being good-looking).
Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch are two of the male actors that women find the most sexually attractive.
Isn’t that strange? Neither of them have the most traditionally attractive facial features, nor are they particularly muscular.
But they do both have something in common—powerful, deep voices.
A deep voice by itself can turn a woman on, so it’s definitely worth putting in an effort to deepen your voice.
Tips for Deepening Your Voice:
One simple way to deepen your voice is to practice slow, controlled breathing. When you speak from your diaphragm instead of your throat, your voice naturally becomes fuller and more resonant. It also helps you speak in a more controlled, steady pace, which projects confidence.
Additionally, try humming in a low pitch every morning to warm up your vocal cords. This small exercise can help train your voice to naturally settle in a lower, more attractive register throughout the day.
Remember that you don’t need a movie-trailer-deep voice to be attractive to women. What’s more important is having a calm, assertive tone that shows you’re comfortable with yourself.
Conclusion
As you improve the quality of your voice with the methods you just learned, the responses you get from women will become increasingly positive.
What you say matters, but I’d argue that how you say it is even more crucial. If you speak with a masculine, passionate voice, women will find you significantly more attractive.
By focusing on breaking rapport, adding pauses, speaking with emotion, and practicing a deep tone, you’ll notice a shift in how women react to you. The more you refine your voice, the more seductive it will become.
Make these changes a habit, and your vocal tonality will start doing half the seduction work for you.
