One of the worst nightmares for a guy when it comes to seducing and dating women is falling into the trap of being a “nice guy.” Although you must always treat a woman with respect and dignity, it’s absolutely vital you do not become another “nice guy” around women.
What Exactly Is a “Nice Guy”?
Well, a nice guy is a regular guy. A good guy. To cut to the chase, nice guys don’t have a clue about what they’re doing.
They buy roses on every other date they get with a new girl. They try to earn her affections by getting her presents and fancy things. They think they’re being romantic and poetic, but all they are is pretty lame. They don’t have the good momentum, and they get put in the dreaded “friend zone.”
Nice guys are so desperate to please women that they put their own personal needs—time alone, time with friends, etc.—away. They place the girl on a pedestal. Nice guys don’t just appreciate a girl, they worship her. But more importantly, nice guys are nice because deep down, they feel insecure.
And who wants to date an insecure guy?
Why Being the “Nice Guy” Never Works
Let’s break this down a bit. The root of the problem with being a “nice guy” is that it stems from insecurity. It’s like you’re trying to prove your worth to her by doing everything for her, but instead of looking attractive, you end up looking needy. And we all know, neediness is a major turn-off.
Nice guys are often afraid of rejection, so they go out of their way to avoid conflict. They don’t express their true selves because they fear losing the girl. But what they don’t realize is that by hiding who they really are, they become less appealing. Women want a guy who is confident and sure of himself, not someone who’s constantly seeking approval.
Nice guys don’t take risks. They don’t push boundaries. They play it safe, and in the process, they become predictable and boring. And let’s be honest—no woman wants to be bored.
How to Get a Girl’s Attention
Okay, so here’s the big question: how do you get a girl to pay attention to you when there are literally billions of other guys on the planet?
Well, start by being unusual. Unusual in an enchanting way. You have to be desirable. Make them want more. Never give them what they want, especially not when you’re trying to seduce them. And for God’s sake, STOP buying gifts on every other occasion.
Here’s one of the best strategies: let her have a peek and shut the door. BAM! You get the idea.
Master the Art of Subtle Seduction
Picture Will Smith in the movie “Hitch.” In the bar scene, he approaches Eva Mendes in the coolest way possible and blows away the guy she was talking to just before. Will takes a seat, and has a light chat with Eva. You can see she’s interested.
They talk for a couple of minutes, and just at the peak of the conversation, Will Smith gets up and leaves. And you can see Eva getting up and looking in the direction where he left. She was definitely intrigued, and the rest of the movie proves it well. Learn the best tips for seduction.
What Can We Learn from This?
Let’s analyze that great little scene. You can see that Will Smith obviously knows what he’s doing. He doesn’t ask for her phone number directly. He patiently waits for her to get interested. He acts and talks differently than most other guys, and that gets Eva intrigued.
And just at the moment when he feels she’s finally taken off her built-in radar, he leaves her. That’s exactly what you need to do. A lot of guys get good things going by having a good conversation, but after a while, that conversation becomes lame. By the time they ask for her number, she’s already checked out—maybe not physically, but mentally.
Why Confidence Beats Niceness Every Time
Here’s the thing—women are attracted to confidence. Confidence shows that you are comfortable with who you are. It shows that you don’t need constant validation. Nice guys, on the other hand, often come across as insecure and lacking in self-esteem.
Women can sense when a guy is insecure. They can feel when you’re trying too hard to impress them. And guess what? That’s not attractive. What’s attractive is a man who knows what he wants, who isn’t afraid to go after it, but who also isn’t desperate for anyone’s approval.
Let other guys do the talking. Let other guys buy expensive gifts. Let other guys sink their own ships by being too nice and too cheap with women. Don’t make the same mistakes that thousands of guys do when seducing women.
Stop Being a People Pleaser
One of the biggest mistakes nice guys make is trying to be a people pleaser. They think that by doing everything the girl wants, she’ll fall head over heels for them. But that’s not how it works. When you always agree with her, when you never challenge her, when you don’t have your own opinions, you lose her respect.
Women want a man who can stand up for himself. Someone who isn’t afraid to disagree with her. Someone who isn’t afraid to say “no.” Being a people pleaser might get you her friendship, but it won’t get you her attraction.
Develop the Right Attitude
It’s all about the attitude. Display the right attitude (stop being a nice guy) to build your way to more success with women. Smile when you see guys behaving like ass-kissers around women. Ass-kissers become friends. Confident guys (non-nice-guys) become daters.
Now, this doesn’t mean you should be a jerk. Being confident and being arrogant are two very different things. Confidence is about being secure in yourself. Arrogance is about thinking you’re better than others. Women can spot the difference a mile away.
Final Thoughts: What You Should Do Instead
The key to avoiding the nice guy trap is balance. You don’t have to be a bad boy to attract women, but you do need to have self-respect. Don’t sacrifice your own needs to try and make her happy. Don’t put her on a pedestal. Instead, focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
Be confident, be assertive, but also be respectful. You can be kind without being a pushover. You can be generous without overdoing it.
Remember, it’s not about impressing her with grand gestures or expensive gifts. It’s about showing her that you’re a man worth her time. Let other guys fall into the “nice guy” trap while you stand out as someone confident, secure, and desirable. That’s how you win her attention—and her heart.
