Now, this can happen honestly. She loses interest before the relationship when it gets more serious. It could also be that the girl loses interest before a one-night stand turns into a casual relationship. The same dynamics apply.
For that, I have a very nice, real-life example prepared for you, and I’m going to share the screenshot here.
Here’s what the guy says:
“Whenever I have a one-night stand with a really cool girl, it starts off like this one is special. It seems like she’s really digging me that night. But later on, I’ll hit her up, and she’s not really down anymore, and eventually just completely ignores me. Why does this happen? Buyer’s remorse? Confused…”
Well, this, my friend, is a classic example of getting into a relationship too fast. In this case, it’s not even a serious relationship; it’s more like he wants to meet her again. It still counts as a relationship, if you will, but it’s moving too fast simply because the girl is extra hot, extra cool, or extra awesome, right?
Write the following down: There is no shortcut to getting into a quality relationship, and there needs to be proper testing before. This specific example is a good one.
So, what’s the guy doing wrong? Let’s see.
First of all, he’s cutting out the testing time because he’s not coming from abundance. He’s acting this way because this girl is, like he said, really cool. So, he’s just trying to hit her up again, right? The fact that there is no testing, combined with the fact that he’s now becoming needy, kills her attraction for him immediately. You understand what I’m saying, right?
This happens mostly after a successful date or a successful one-night stand. Because we men, with our logic, think something like, “Well, she already likes me; the date was already really good. We kissed or we slept together, so there’s no need to ‘game’ her anymore, right?” But finally, seeing this whole thing as a means to an end is so fundamentally wrong. You don’t need to ‘game’ her anymore because she’s already into you, right?
But again, women tend to think in emotions, and those emotions are subject to change. She has emotions with you on that very night. She’s there, she has fun, she’s having a good time. But then she gets a needy text from you. There’s no testing, no having her qualify. And she’s like, “I’m not feeling it.” They’re literally not feeling it because her emotions are not with you anymore.
Remember, one of the biggest turn-ons for women is the feeling of “I deserve him now.” Right? “I deserve him now. I worked on him, and now he’s mine. He chose me.” You’re not giving her that by just assuming, “Oh well, I don’t have to ‘game’ anymore.” Sure, assume attraction, as we said in the video before, but don’t assume you don’t have to keep ‘gaming.’ You still need to do that.
Also, let’s talk a little bit about this whole not testing and not having her qualify. Be aware of where the power lies when you leave out the testing, right? You leave out the testing phase and just listen to your scarcity hormones, thinking, “Ah, it’s alright; she’s going to let me.” Who has the power? She has the power because you’re ready to jump into a relationship with her. And now she has the chance to say, “Okay, I’m either going to wait or I’m going to decline,” etc.
If you give her the test first, she feels like, “Oh, I deserve him finally. I don’t want to let go of that. I’m already invested by passing all these tests.”
Now, where is the power if you keep testing her and keep her wondering a little bit? “Does he like me or does he not like me? I don’t know.” Well, here’s the crazy thing: the power is not even on your side. The power is not on your side right now because she will test you just as much. So, it’s going to be much more 50/50 now, ensuring that both parties are in a position where they can choose, right?
Again, abundance. You need to test the girl. Don’t just assume you don’t have to ‘game’ her anymore just because you had a one-night stand or a great date, right? By you testing her, by having her jump through little hoops, it will automatically raise your attraction level, right? Because it communicates that you have options, right? And it also communicates that you are of high value. No, it’s not manipulative. Again, you’re actually making the whole experience exciting for her, and she’ll enjoy it.
To summarize, one potential reason why the relationship doesn’t work out, or why she doesn’t want to come back, is because you’re being too needy and you’re leaving out the testing. The other potential reason is that her value system is fundamentally different than yours.
What does that mean? You might have ideally gone through the four becomings already. You’re an alpha male, you’re healthy, you’re successful, you’re popular, right? A real catch, aren’t you? Well, not necessarily. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re a real catch because, while all these things will drastically improve your chances with a vast majority of girls, it still doesn’t mean that you can get any girl, like 100% of the time.
It could still mean that specific girls just won’t care that you’re successful, that you’re epic, that you’re awesome, that you’ve got game, and that you’re an alpha male and all that. Simply because their value system is a little different.
As an example, I had this girl in Finland that I really wanted to be with. She’s an athlete, she was so attractive. And I had just stopped traveling, just settled down, and I thought, “All the guys that live here are my age. They have nothing on me, man. I’m well-traveled, sophisticated, smart, successful in business, seen the world, I’ve got game, I’m rich, etc. Like, pure status game.” I literally fell into the mindset of a guy without game. And I would go on a date with this girl, and I’m like, “Yeah, she’s totally going to be into me.”
And then I texted her, making the same mistake, assuming that I don’t have to ‘game’ her anymore because the first date was epic. And she just stopped replying. Didn’t want to meet me. And I’m like, “Why?” Then I would see her posts on social media, tuning me out, like she was on a date in a workshop for cars. And the guy she was on a date with was a mechanic. He was in dirty clothes, looked super rough, and he was repairing a car. And she’s posting like, “Oh my God, best date ever. I just feel connected to the guy, so cool,” etc.
And I’m like, “What the heck? This mechanic? Lady, you’re blowing me off for a mechanic? What is going on?” And then I realized, wait a minute, she just may not care that a guy is well-traveled, successful, and all of that. In her value system, that might even be something negative. She might even think that because I’m wealthy, I must be an arrogant jerk. So, she wants to have a relatable, nice car mechanic. And again, as much as I judged her in the beginning, I’m like, “You know what, dude, what can I do? People’s value systems are different.”
Some girls don’t want a successful guy. Most of them want one. Most of them want to have an alpha male. But every now and then, you run across a girl that just has a fundamentally different value system. So, there’s nothing you can really do about that. Value systems, however, do change over time, so don’t worry too much. You do your thing, work on your game, and it will drastically improve your success rate with a lot of girls. At the same time, you can’t get every girl. I mean, you should know this by now. I don’t get every girl. Nobody does. It’s impossible. It’s just part of being human. We all have different preferences.
To summarize this nice little article: She doesn’t want to be in a relationship, she bails out before you become too needy. If she basically doesn’t want to hang out more than the one time you hung out, you need to understand what it is.
Number one: Don’t be needy, be testy.
Number two: Let that testing work in your favor and build attraction through it.
Number three: Make her feel like she has to work on you—she’ll love you for it.
Number four: Be aware that you can’t be high-value in every single girl’s value system, and that’s totally fine.
I hope that answers your question. I hope you can go out and succeed with a lot of girls, with 99% of them. Good luck!
