The dating game is all about the approach. If you dont try you are never going to get a date on your terms. Most people feel a little intimidated when they enter the dating game. They feel the pressure when trying to walk up to someone they dont know and ask for a date. Breaking the ice is an important first step in this nerve racking process in the search for romance.The opening words you may utter will speak volumes. Literally, in less than 10 seconds you will either have set yourself up for life, have a definite date, or be going home alone as usual with your tail between your legs.
The initial step in initiating a date are simple but daunting. Psychologists tell us that people make their mind up within seconds and I think most of us who are truthful will agree that we know pretty much instantly if we are attracted to someone or not. This can be changed over time but why make it hard for ourselves? Why not strike when the irons hot and grab our date on the first attempt.
If that is the case why is speaking still important? Well, looks are the visual presentation and if someone likes the look of us, its a start but not the full package.
Here are some tips :
1) SMILE
Psychology and body language experts agree that one of the easiest things you can do to make yourself instantly attractive and approachable is to smile. Make yourself look like a fun person to be with. The look of happiness is an attractive quality.
2) EYE CONTACT
Harvard psychologist Zick Rubin discovered that when deeply in love, couples look at each other when talking, and are slower to look away when someone else joins the conversation. Simply lock eyes with the person you are attracted to and keep them there, even when they’ve finished talking or someone else joins in,’ advises sexpert and flirting guru Tracy Cox. This way they will know that you’re more interested in them than the other person. If they hold your gaze several times in a row, you can be quietly confident they like you too.
3) COPY BODY MOVEMENTS
Mirroring someone’s body language is the single most effective thrick to flirting. Just match their gestures and movements. We like people who are like us. If they mirror our behaviour we sense they are on the same level and they tend to drop their guard and let us into their personal space. If the other person is interested they tend to start copying your body language too.
4) LISTEN
They will feel more important and flattered if they feel you are listening to them. You are making them feel good about themselves and if they feel good about them selves they are more likely to stick around you, giving you all the time you need to impress them.
5) TOUCH
Touch is the number one instant bonder. A momentary touch can have an electric effect on how somebody feels about you. The more you like someone, the more you want to touch them and the more you touch them, the more they tend to like you.
6) COMPLIMENTS
Compliments, if done correctly will always make someone feel good about themselves. They are more likely to like you and become more responsive to your advances
It is often said that women are genrally attracted to men who are witty and amusing. This can be confirmed if you look at any dating column request. “Must have a (GSOH) good sense of humor”. A funny, comical approach is always a great opener. Women dont want a 24hour stand up comedian but to break the ice, humor does work. The delivery of this humor is essentially the key, which brings me to my final point.
Chat up lines. They do work, and always will if done correctly. For some, chat up lines are a chore and look stressful to watch. Many come across as aggressive and foolish just because their anxiety levels are rocketing. Under these stress level they just tense up or communicate in a manner they would under normal circumstances. It is all about practice and confidence. The more people you speak to, the more socialable you become and the quicker you will master it.
Look at chat up lines as an ice breaker, not the foundations of a potential relationship
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