What is Inner Game of Chemistry?
The “Inner Game” of chemistry is about understanding the science behind why people feel a special connection or attraction to each other. It looks at how our brains, feelings, and behaviors work together to create this chemistry. Exploring this involves studying how our brains and bodies interact, how we think and feel, and how we get along with others.
This article breaks down these scientific ideas to explain why we feel a spark or connection with someone. It aims to help us understand better why we click with certain people and what makes these connections happen. Ultimately, it’s about learning more about how we relate to others and why we feel drawn to some people more than others.
The 3 Step Formula for Chemistry
In this course titled “5 Minute Chemistry,” we are going to teach you the secrets to creating chemistry in just a few minutes. Chemistry is that elusive connection we feel with someone, and it is the key to building meaningful relationships. But how do we create that chemistry? Well, just like in chemistry, there is a reliable and repeatable formula for creating chemistry, and it consists of three crucial elements: social comfort, attraction, and likeness.
Step 1: What is Social Comfort?
Social comfort is the foundation upon which chemistry is built. It’s all about making people feel comfortable in your presence. When you start a conversation with a stranger, your first goal should be to establish social comfort. Without social comfort, attraction cannot exist. Think of it like a vacuum and a flame. The flame represents attraction, but it can only exist in the presence of social comfort, the vacuum.
All Social Skills Are Not Equal
It’s important to note that just because you’re good at sales or have a lot of friends doesn’t necessarily mean you know how to build social comfort with a stranger. Building social comfort requires a different set of skills, and it’s okay if you’re not naturally inclined in that area. Don’t take it personally. Recognize that building social comfort is a skill that can be learned and practiced.
When Social Comfort Happens
Social comfort should happen from the moment you start a conversation until the point where the other person would rather continue talking to you than to end the conversation. It’s about creating an environment where both of you feel at ease and connected. This is the sweet spot where chemistry can thrive.
The Crossover Point: Breaking Social Comfort
Once you’ve established social comfort, you need to break it strategically. This might sound counterintuitive, but it’s a crucial step in creating chemistry. Breaking social comfort means doing something to upset the balance of comfort you’ve established, most commonly through teasing. When you break social comfort, the other person responds by chasing the social comfort back, allowing you the opportunity to focus on attracting them.
The 3 Most Common Ways to Break Social Comfort
There are three common techniques for breaking social comfort:
- Teasing: Teasing is the art of saying something rude or playful to communicate that you like the other person. For example, saying “You and I are never going to get along” in a lighthearted tone.
- Push/Pull: Push/Pull is a specific communication technique where you apply opposites. For example, hugging someone and then telling them you hate them. It creates a sense of playful tension and keeps the interaction dynamic.
- Physical Teasing: Physical teasing involves playfully rejecting a woman through physical actions like putting your arm around her and then slowly pushing her away. It’s about creating playful back-and-forth interactions.
Step 2: Attraction
Attraction is the second element in the chemistry formula. It’s the feeling of wanting more of someone or something. Attraction is not a conscious choice; it’s a psychological mechanism that women use to assess potential partners. Because attraction is an emotion, it is transient and can change over time. It’s important to recognize that creating attraction alone does not guarantee a successful connection, but it is a critical component in the formula for chemistry.
The 4 Naturally Attractive Characteristics
To create attraction, there are four characteristics that you should display:
- Being Fun: Show your playful and lighthearted side. Have a sense of humor and make the interaction enjoyable for both parties.
- Being Interesting: Share intriguing stories, passions, and experiences. Be someone who has depth and can engage in compelling conversations.
- Being Masculine: Embrace your masculine qualities such as confidence, protectiveness, and ambition. Show that you can lead and provide a sense of security.
- Being Confident: Confidence is key in attracting others. It exudes self-assuredness and charisma, which are highly appealing traits.
By embodying these four characteristics, you have the power to attract any woman anywhere.
Step 3: Likeness
Finally, we come to the last part of the chemistry formula: creating likeness. Likeness is the perception that you and the woman have a lot in common. It’s about finding those hidden connections by sharing similar experiences, interests, or even mutual acquaintances. By highlighting these commonalities, you strengthen the bond between you and create a sense of familiarity.
Why Likeness is Important
Creating likeness is crucial, especially when initiating a conversation with a stranger. By showing that you share the same interests, frequent the same places, or know people in common, you establish credibility and common ground. This helps to warm up the cold approach and fosters a sense of connection. Likeness is the key ingredient that no other dating guru has fully tapped into.
3 Magic Subjects for Creating Likeness
To create likeness, there are three magic subjects you can explore:
- Schools/Camps/Childhood Memories in the Area: Learning regional references and discussing shared experiences from school, camps, or childhood memories is an excellent way to build likeness.
- Food: Sharing similar food preferences, favorite restaurants, or even dietary choices can create an instant connection. Food is a universal language that brings people together.
- Local Celebrities: Every area has its local celebrities, whether they’re influencers in the club scene, celebrated teachers in yoga studios, or organizers in the networking scene. By name-dropping these common connections, you establish credibility and shared experiences.
- Locals Only Spots: Every town has its hidden gems, like the best hamburger joint, karaoke bar, running trail, or coffee shop. Knowing about these local spots and sharing them creates a sense of belonging and mutual experiences.
Recap
In this article, we’ve explored the inner workings of the three-step formula for creating chemistry. We’ve learned that chemistry is the result of social comfort, attraction, and likeness. Social comfort lays the foundation, attraction sparks the desire for more, and likeness strengthens the connection. By understanding these elements and implementing them, you have the power to create chemistry in any interaction.
Exercise: Now take a moment to think back to a time when you experienced chemistry naturally. Try to fit that situation into the three-step formula: social comfort + attraction + likeness. Reflecting on your own experiences will deepen your understanding and enable you to apply the formula more effectively in future interactions.
Remember, chemistry is not about following a rigid script but rather understanding the underlying principles and adapting them to each unique situation. With practice and an open mind, you can unlock the secret of five-minute chemistry and create meaningful connections with ease.
So go out there, be yourself, and let the chemistry unfold!