Studies have shown that there is a powerful hero instinct signal that can significantly strengthen and grow the bond in a relationship. This signal involves making “emotional deposits” in your relationship on a daily basis. These deposits, although seemingly small and insignificant, have the potential to cut the rate of separation in half. The best part is that it takes less than 10 seconds to make these deposits, and they have the ability to kick his Hero Instinct into overdrive, creating an emotional connection that continues to grow over time.
So, what is this powerful signal? It’s actually quite simple: expressing appreciation. Yes, appreciation is the currency of happy relationships. And the reason behind this is straightforward. Men have a innate need for incremental progress, and appreciation serves as a measure of that progress. Happiness and fulfillment come from the sense of making progress towards something that truly matters to us, regardless of how small that progress may be.
Many people mistakenly believe that happiness is derived from external circumstances such as career success, relationship status, or academic achievements. While these accomplishments do bring temporary happiness, we quickly adapt to these new circumstances and the happiness fades unless we continue making progress towards new goals. We need to feel like we are working towards something worthwhile, as this ignites the parts of our brain that release energy and make us feel happy and engaged in life.
By now, you probably understand the importance of a man’s mission in life and how you can become a part of that mission. Expressing appreciation is one way to keep your man hooked and to keep your relationship fresh and relevant to his sense of well-being, happiness, and purpose.
The Power of Appreciation Phrases
Let’s explore some examples of appreciation phrases that you can use in the early stages of a relationship. These phrases can help you convey your appreciation and make your partner feel valued and seen:
- “I like the way you use my name when we talk. And I appreciate that you remembered it after just one meeting.”
- “You’re easy to talk with. I don’t know if you do that on purpose, but I appreciate it.”
It’s important to note that using terms that imply your partner is fighting to protect you can greatly enhance the impact of appreciation phrases. For example, instead of saying “Thank you for helping me,” you can say “Thank you for rescuing me from the embarrassment of having to call in late for work.” These adventure and fight words tap into his hero instinct and make him feel even more valued and appreciated.
Let’s take a look at Liz’s story as an example. Liza used appreciation phrases to trigger Evan’s hero instinct. After admitting her anxiety about assembling certain parts, she ran into Evan in the cafeteria. She thanked him by saying, “You could tell what was making me anxious, and you swooped right in to battle that anxiety for me. Thank you for that.”
In this example, Liz used terms that emphasized Evan’s heroic actions, such as “swooping in” and “battling anxiety.” These adventure words enhance the appreciation and trigger his hero instinct even more.
Here are a few more examples of using adventure words or fight words to express appreciation:
- “I really appreciate you giving me a ride. Thanks for rescuing me from the embarrassment of having to call in late for work.”
- “Thanks for letting me hide behind your strength while that deal went through.”
- “I know you’re going to downplay what you did for me, but the way you took down those obstacles was really impressive to me.”
- “I appreciate the advice. Can I reach out to you again the next time I need backup on this subject?”
Why Does This Work?
Expressions of gratitude gradually shape your partner’s behavior. By starting small and consistently showing appreciation for even the tiniest heroic efforts, you can cause even the most unromantic guy to become a person who actively looks for new ways to impress and support you. Reinforcing his actions with expressions of gratitude triggers a positive feedback loop, where he becomes more motivated to live up to your expectations and receive your appreciation.
Out of all the hero instinct signals, expressing appreciation requires some background reading and understanding. It is important to learn about behavioral conditioning and the power it holds in shaping your partner’s actions to become the hero and receive gratitude. Understanding the psychological aspects behind expressing appreciation will give you greater insight into how to effectively use this currency in your relationship.
In conclusion, appreciation is the secret “currency” of happy relationships. It taps into a man’s hero instinct and provides the sense of progress that he craves. By expressing appreciation, you not only strengthen the bond you have with your partner but also make him feel valued, seen, and motivated to continue being the hero in your relationship. So, start making those emotional deposits today and watch as your relationship flourishes with happiness and connection.
