The Secret Currency Of Happy Relationships

Studies have shown that there is a powerful hero instinct signal that can significantly strengthen and grow the bond in a relationship. This signal involves making “emotional deposits” in your relationship on a daily basis.

These deposits, although seemingly small and insignificant, have the potential to cut the rate of separation in half. The best part is that it takes less than 10 seconds to make these deposits, and they have the ability to kick his Hero Instinct into overdrive, creating an emotional connection that continues to grow over time.

So, what is this powerful signal? It’s actually quite simple: expressing appreciation. Yes, appreciation is the currency of happy relationships.

And the reason behind this is straightforward. Men have a innate need for incremental progress, and appreciation serves as a measure of that progress. Happiness and fulfillment come from the sense of making progress towards something that truly matters to us, regardless of how small that progress may be.

Many people wrongly believe happiness comes from external things like career success, relationship status, or even academic achievements. Sure, these things bring moments of happiness. But soon after, we adapt. That happiness fades unless we continue making progress toward new goals. We need to feel like we’re working towards something worthwhile. That feeling is what triggers the parts of our brain that release energy, making us feel alive and engaged.

By now, you understand the importance of a man’s mission in life. You also understand how you can be a part of that mission. Expressing appreciation is one powerful way to keep your man hooked, and it keeps your relationship fresh and aligned with his sense of happiness and purpose.

The Power of Appreciation Phrases

Now, let’s talk about how to use appreciation effectively. There are specific phrases that can help you express appreciation and make your partner feel valued. These are especially useful in the early stages of a relationship. Here are a few examples to get you started:

1. “I like the way you use my name when we talk. And I appreciate that you remembered it after just one meeting.”
2. “You’re easy to talk with. I don’t know if you do that on purpose, but I appreciate it.”

It’s important to note that using terms that imply your partner is fighting to protect you can greatly enhance the impact of appreciation phrases. For example, instead of saying “Thank you for helping me,” you can say “Thank you for rescuing me from the embarrassment of having to call in late for work.” These adventure and fight words tap into his hero instinct and make him feel even more valued and appreciated.

Let’s take a look at Liz’s story as an example. Liza used appreciation phrases to trigger Evan’s hero instinct. After admitting her anxiety about assembling certain parts, she ran into Evan in the cafeteria. She thanked him by saying, “You could tell what was making me anxious, and you swooped right in to battle that anxiety for me. Thank you for that.”

In this example, Liz used terms that emphasized Evan’s heroic actions, such as “swooping in” and “battling anxiety.” These adventure words enhance the appreciation and trigger his hero instinct even more.

Here are a few more examples of using adventure words or fight words to express appreciation:

• “I really appreciate you giving me a ride. Thanks for rescuing me from the embarrassment of having to call in late for work.”
• “Thanks for letting me hide behind your strength while that deal went through.”
• “I know you’re going to downplay what you did for me, but the way you took down those obstacles was really impressive to me.”
• “I appreciate the advice. Can I reach out to you again the next time I need backup on this subject?”

Why Does This Work?

Appreciation gradually shapes your partner’s behavior. It starts small but has a lasting impact. By consistently showing appreciation for even the tiniest heroic actions, you create a positive feedback loop. Your partner starts to look for more ways to impress you and support you because he knows it’s noticed and appreciated. Over time, even the most unromantic guy can become someone who actively seeks out ways to be your hero.

This is where understanding the psychology of appreciation comes in. When you express gratitude, you’re not just being polite. You’re engaging in behavioral conditioning. Every time you show appreciation, you reinforce the behavior, making it more likely that your partner will continue to do things that trigger his hero instinct. This positive reinforcement becomes a powerful motivator. He will seek out ways to meet your needs and feel rewarded by your appreciation.

Out of all the hero instinct signals, expressing appreciation requires a deeper understanding of how behavioral conditioning works. Learning how to effectively use this in your relationship can help you create a bond that’s built on mutual respect and admiration.

Appreciation is the Secret Currency of Happy Relationships

In conclusion, appreciation isn’t just about saying thank you. It’s the secret currency of happy, long-lasting relationships. It taps into a man’s hero instinct and fulfills his need for progress. By regularly expressing appreciation, you not only strengthen the bond with your partner but also make him feel valued, seen, and motivated to continue being the hero in your relationship.

Start making those emotional deposits today, and you’ll be amazed at how quickly your relationship flourishes. Your partner will feel appreciated, and you’ll enjoy a deeper connection filled with happiness and fulfillment.

Now that you know the power of appreciation, take that first step. Begin with small, consistent expressions of gratitude and watch how your relationship transforms. Your future self—and your partner—will thank you for it.