A relationship is a very valuable aspect of our lives. It must be unique and something to be enjoyed by everyone. We all dream of having a very healthy relationship, especially with our friends, family members, and loved ones.
It is a relationship wherein we enjoy each other’s company. We do things together, like watching a basketball game or sometimes with the company of friends. We are honest about our feelings with each other. There is mutual respect and sincerity between the two of us. It means we pay attention to each other’s opinion or thoughts, always trying to reach out to each other to strengthen the bonds of the relationship.
However, a healthy relationship doesn’t come easily. We have to nurture it. This requires consistent communication, patience, and respect for each other. The more effort we put into understanding each other’s needs and feelings, the stronger the connection becomes. In healthy relationships, we celebrate each other’s growth and successes.
On the other hand, having an unhealthy or abusive relationship means experiencing the exact opposite of what a healthy relationship offers.
We usually feel bad about ourselves. We do not verbalize our feelings. We take each other for granted. It could be in the form of hurting the other person verbally, abusing the person physically, emotional abuse, or even sexual abuse. Sometimes, both of them will be violent or abusive to each other.
In an abusive relationship, you might find yourself walking on eggshells, always afraid of saying the wrong thing. You lose your sense of security. This constant fear and anxiety can have a long-lasting impact on your emotional and physical well-being.
Abusive Relationship Dynamics
There are situations wherein only one is abusive to the other. Most often, the abusive relationship does not happen immediately but only after some time. It will be the manifestation of the real self of the person you promised to live with. What may start as small arguments or jealousy can escalate over time into something far more serious.
The abuser may begin to manipulate, control, or isolate you from friends and family. This isolation is often a red flag that the relationship is taking a dangerous turn. Recognizing these signs early on is crucial to preventing the situation from worsening.
If we are experiencing an abusive relationship, how are we to get out of such a relationship?
Taking Steps to Leave an Abusive Relationship
First and foremost, we need to talk to somebody we could trust—like our parents, a friend, a guardian, counselor, teacher, or doctor. We should relate to them that we are having an unhealthy relationship and what the other person did so as to abuse us.
If we are afraid to tell our parents, then we should approach somebody whom we trust to help us in telling our parents, the counselor, school security, and even the police about the abuse. By sharing our story, we can seek protection and take steps toward leaving the abusive situation. It’s crucial to seek support so you don’t feel alone in this difficult process.
Building a Safety Plan
In leaving an abusive relationship, sometimes it is too risky to do so. There is a necessity for us to make a plan for our safety so that everything will be done smoothly. It will surely not be difficult and safer if we will have a plan. Planning is especially important because leaving an abusive relationship is often the most dangerous time for the victim.
These are the tips for our safety plan:
- Do not be ashamed to tell your situation to somebody you trust.
- Mention directly to the person abusing you that you do not want to see them anymore, and do it when your guardian or parents are present.
- If you are injured, go for treatment from your doctor or the hospital.
- Record in a diary when the date of abuse happened.
- Contact should be avoided with the person.
- Do not walk alone. Be with your friends.
- In case of emergency, look for a safer place, like the police station.
- Always bring your cellphone, phone cards, and money.
- In case the person is following you, do not hesitate to call 911.
- Always have the domestic violence hotline numbers with you.
These safety steps can help you create a more secure plan when preparing to leave. Trusting your instincts is key, and if something feels unsafe, it’s important to take action to protect yourself.
Facing Abuse at Home
Most of the time, it happens that the various abuses we mentioned are done inside our very own home. We feel bad about this kind of situation. In other words, our home can no longer guarantee our safety and security with the other members of the family. Sexual abuse is committed right at the doorstep of our home. Child abuse is also done when a person assigned to take care of the child fails to do so.
Home should be a place of safety and love. But when abuse happens within the home, it can be even more damaging because the people meant to protect us are the ones causing harm. This betrayal can leave deep emotional scars that are hard to heal.
There are times when the child is physically hurt out of jealousy. Whatever happens, parents and health caregivers must be prepared to protect and take care of the child. The emotional and physical well-being of the child should always be a priority, and any signs of abuse must be taken seriously.
Seeking Help in Abusive Situations
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, it is essential to seek help immediately. There are resources available that can provide protection, legal assistance, and emotional support.
Some important steps include:
- Talking to a trusted adult or counselor.
- Contacting local domestic violence shelters for help.
- Seeking legal action if necessary to ensure safety.
In cases of severe abuse, don’t hesitate to involve authorities to help protect yourself and your loved ones. Leaving an abusive situation might be scary, but staying in it is far more dangerous.
Abusive relationships can leave deep emotional wounds, but healing is possible with the right support system. You deserve a relationship built on love, trust, and respect. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.
