You are dating a beautiful but a shy girl or one that is not a talkie. You have already talked about your hobbies, your families and your jobs and nothing else come into your mind and she is not really helping you (that’s what you believe).
One of the best ways of having a good, healthy and wholesome chat with your girlfriend is to start with small talk. The small talk will give you a general picture about her likes and dislikes, as well as what she would like to
discuss and what she would rather leave alone. Once the small talk gives you a general idea, you can go ahead and discuss your common likes and dislikes.
But what is really freaking you are those moment of silence. Uhh… horrible moments. The key to avoid or get over these horrible moments are:
1. Compliments Her
The fact is, most people feel shy when meeting new people. I used to be incredibly shy, so I totally get it. But when you think about it, shyness is just a fear that others won’t like you or that you’ll be rejected. It’s natural for us to want acceptance, right?
So, one of the easiest ways to break through her shell is to make her feel liked. Compliment her, but make it sincere. Don’t just compliment her looks; find something you genuinely appreciate about her. It could be her style, her laugh, or her thoughtful personality.
When you compliment something genuine, she’ll feel more confident. Your words will resonate with her and make her realize that you see her for who she really is. This confidence boost will allow her to open up and engage in conversation. Instead of feeling nervous, she will be more at ease, making it easier for her to share her thoughts and feelings. The more she feels appreciated, the more likely she will feel safe and encouraged to express herself.
Compliments can also serve as conversation starters. You might say, “I really admire how passionate you are about your art. What inspired you to start?” This not only shows that you notice her unique qualities but also invites her to share more about herself. By creating an atmosphere of appreciation, you foster a space where she can relax and converse more freely.
2. Ask Open Questions
How you ask questions can completely change the tone of your conversation. Effective questions are the ones that open doors to deeper understanding. You don’t want to bombard her with rapid-fire questions that make her feel like she’s in an interrogation. Instead, focus on open-ended questions that invite her to share her thoughts and opinions.
My personal favorites are “why” and “how” questions. For example, if she mentions a hobby she enjoys, ask, “Why do you like that so much?” or “How did you get into that?” These kinds of questions don’t have short yes-or-no answers. They require her to elaborate, giving you more insight into her personality and interests.
By asking these kinds of questions, you show genuine interest in what she has to say. It’ll encourage her to develop her answers more fully, and suddenly, the conversation will start flowing. Plus, she’ll appreciate the fact that you’re taking the time to truly listen and learn about her. This demonstrates that you value her input and are invested in getting to know her better.
It’s important to design your questions based on what she has already shared. For instance, if she mentions that she loves to travel, you might ask, “What has been your favorite trip and why?”
3. Listen, listen, and listen.
Usually when the woman starts talking about her favorite subjects (feelings, family, relationships, friends and her work) many men lose interest or bring the conversation back to themselves. This is one of the biggest mistake men are doing all the time.
They also like to exchange jokes and anecdotes and spend a fair amount of time playing one-up and boasting. Stop doing that!!!
Allow HER to have HER points of view, while you have yours. Men have felt like they have either had to abandon their own beliefs in order to try to get a woman, OR they had to fight with women about what they believe in. Both approaches lead to failure.
She is not there with you just to hear about your hero “qualities”, but to have a great time!
