What Does “Stuck” Really Mean?
“Stuck.” We have all felt it. That frustrating feeling like you can’t move forward, no matter how hard you try. It’s like being caught in quicksand—everything around you moves, but you’re still stuck in place. Whether it’s in your job, relationships, or just life in general, being stuck means you can’t find a way to change your current situation. You’re trapped, unable to navigate through life’s challenges.
And it’s not just about being physically stuck. Sometimes, it’s more about your mindset—feeling like there’s no clear path forward. You might be saying, “I don’t know what to do,” or “I don’t know where to go.” It feels like life is happening to you, and you’re just there, waiting for something to change.
How Do You Know if You’re Stuck?
It’s easy to tell yourself, “I’m fine,” when deep down, you know something’s off. When you’re stuck, you tend to live in that “I don’t know” mindset. You question everything. You’re at a crossroads, but no sign is pointing the way. Instead of feeling like you’re in control of your life, it’s as if life is driving, and you’re just a passenger. This leads to feeling helpless and often overwhelmed.
So, how do you break out of this? How do you regain control?
Getting Out of Default Mode
First, you’ve got to take action. And not just any action—purposeful, deliberate action. The kind that pushes you out of your comfort zone. Yes, it might feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, but that’s how growth happens. You’ve got to get out of default mode, that place where you coast along, not knowing the answers, but not really looking for them either.
It’s not enough to say, “I want change.” You’ve got to feel it, too. Ask yourself, “Do I feel capable? Am I determined?” When you start to believe in your ability to break free, that’s when things will shift. It all starts with your mindset.
What To Do About Feeling Stuck
Now, feeling stuck isn’t a life sentence. There’s a way out. The key? Two things: gaining clarity and making a plan.
Clarity is the first step. To get clear, you need to distinguish between two types of freedom: freedom from and freedom to. This concept, introduced by Dan Sullivan, is a game-changer.
Freedom From
Think about what you need to break free from. Is it your job? Your living situation? Maybe it’s your mindset or the debt that’s holding you back. Whatever it is, you need to identify it. This is what “freedom from” is all about. It’s acknowledging the parts of your life that are weighing you down. It’s about being honest with yourself about what’s not working.
And yes, breaking free from these things can feel scary. It might even hurt. But it’s the first step to reclaiming control. You can’t move forward until you leave behind what’s holding you back.
Leave When You’re Happy
This idea might sound strange, but hear me out. Don’t wait until everything falls apart to make a change. Brooke Castillo offers this perspective: leave your job, relationship, or situation when you’re happy. Why? Because if you leave when you’re miserable, you might carry that negativity into whatever comes next.
Happiness comes from within. It’s not about the job, the relationship, or the money. It’s about how you feel about yourself. Once you’ve cultivated happiness inside, you’ll be ready to move on—not because you have to, but because you want to.
If You Don’t Like Your Job
Let’s say your job is the thing making you unhappy. Take a moment to figure out why. What is it about your work that makes you feel stuck? Now, imagine the worst-case scenario. You quit, but things don’t get better. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
In most cases, the worst outcome is staying stuck. Staying in the same situation, where life happens to you. On the other hand, if you take the leap, there’s a chance—however small—that you’ll discover something that aligns with your passions and ambitions.
I’ve been there. I left my job as an attorney because it made me miserable. I thought that changing careers would bring instant happiness. But that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t until I focused on my internal happiness that I started to see real success. On the flip side, when I left my career as a financial planner, it wasn’t out of misery. It was because I wanted freedom and control over my life. Big difference.
Freedom To
Once you’ve figured out what you need to leave behind, it’s time to focus on what you want to move toward. This is the “freedom to” part. It’s about defining your goals, your dreams, and the things that light you up inside.
But here’s the catch: this part is hard. Sometimes it’s harder than figuring out what you need to leave behind. When you don’t know where you want to go, it can feel like you’re spinning your wheels.
Figuring Out Where You Want To Go
Here’s the truth—no one can tell you where to go. You’ve got to figure that out for yourself. And it all starts with self-leadership. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness and success. You need to own it.
You may not realize it, but you’re already shaping your life. Every decision, every action (or inaction) is leading you somewhere. The question is: where? Take the time to figure it out. Give yourself the space to dream, to imagine what your ideal life looks like.
Do You Know Where You Want To Go?
If you have a clear vision of where you want to go, fantastic! Go for it. There’s nothing worse than leaving your dreams unexplored.
But if you don’t know where you’re headed, don’t panic. Take the time to figure it out.
Get To Know Yourself
Self-discovery is key. What do you really want out of life? What brings you joy? These answers won’t just pop into your head overnight. They take time and introspection. Maybe it’s prayer or meditation that helps. Or maybe you get clarity through reading and exploring different ideas. The important thing is that you actively engage in getting to know yourself.
Ask Questions
The easiest way to get unstuck is to ask yourself questions—big ones. Questions that make you think about what you want most out of life. Here are a few to get started:
- What does your dream life look like?
- How much money do you want to make?
- What type of work excites you?
- What kind of relationship do you desire?
- How do you want to spend your free time?
The more you question, the clearer things will become.
Make a Plan
Once you’ve done the soul-searching, it’s time to act. Set a deadline to figure things out. Pick a day, say Sunday from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m., and dedicate that time to researching, planning, and taking steps to move forward. Make this a habit. It’s about commitment—commitment to yourself and your growth.
Ideas For Where You Want To Go
To help guide your thinking, here are some key areas to consider:
- Purpose: What’s your purpose? What gives your life meaning?
- Contribution: How can you make a positive impact?
- Money: What financial goals do you want to achieve?
- Relationships: What kind of connections do you want?
- Success: How do you define success?
- Time: How do you want to spend your time?
These are the big questions that shape your life. Don’t shy away from them.
Summary
The bottom line? Staying stuck in the “I don’t know” mindset won’t get you anywhere. You were made to grow, learn, and thrive. So, embrace the journey. Make decisions. Try new things. Accept that failures will happen, but keep moving forward. Don’t waste another day feeling trapped. You’ve got a life to live—make it one filled with purpose, fulfillment, and success.
