Dealing with toxic people can be challenging, but with the right techniques, it is possible to protect yourself and maintain your well-being. In this blog post, we will explore various strategies and techniques to deal with toxic people effectively and confidently.
Here are 5 Techniques to Deal with Toxic People
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There can be no straight-jacket formula for dealing with toxic people. Discussed below are a few general and time-tested techniques. The reader can experiment with them on a trial and error basis and decide for themselves.
Technique 1: Avoid Toxic People Altogether, If Possible
The best technique is to avoid meeting toxic people altogether. Always keep some strong ready-made excuses in mind and use them not to meet these toxic people at all. Sometimes toxic people will lure you to come and meet them, and you may feel for a moment that they have changed. But believe me, nobody changes.
So be alert and be forceful in saying politely ‘No’ to them. Remember, be polite! Don’t let them feel as if you are avoiding them. Create stories that naturally make you unavailable to meet them. Assure them that you will surely meet them next time, but come up with another creative excuse the next time.
Please understand that you are not doing this because you are a bad person or like to lie or avoid people. In fact, you are doing this to keep your sanity and prevent yourself from becoming a bad person.
Self-protection is a vital thing. At our best to keep everyone happy, we forget to take care of ourselves. Just like the survival demonstrations in airplanes.
Technique 2: Minimize Interaction as Much as Possible
Toxic people thrive on private conversations where they can manipulate and control the narrative. By limiting solo interactions, you can protect yourself from their toxicity.
Sometimes you are put in a situation where you have to deal with toxic people. You cannot avoid them. In that case, interact as little as possible with them. Speak in short, concise sentences, and when the work is done, RUN!
The point is to create as few opportunities as possible for you to have an interaction with them. Remember, they are waiting to have a conversation with you. Maybe they want to make fun of you, remind you of your loss, or ask you something they know will make you feel bad. Try not to give them such an opportunity.
Also, even if you are forced to interact with them, do so when more people are around. Toxic people tend to be at their worst when they find another person alone.
Technique 3: Change the Topic of Discussion
If, for some reason, the toxic person gets to you and starts to trouble you with whatever toxicity they are carrying, instead of answering their queries and questions, change the topic of discussion. This shifts the power dynamic and gives you control over the interaction.
There are two types of changes you can make to the discussion:
Type -1 changes the topic altogether to another unrelated but general topic, which will shift the focus from you to some other person or event.
Type -2 shifts the topic to a sensitive area of the toxic person, which will make them a little uncomfortable talking about.
Type 1: By using this technique, you can successfully change the focus from yourself to some other person. This will distract the toxic person, who will lose their focus and get entangled in the changed topic. Further, you can keep excusing yourself to do some work or errands, etc., so that you can keep interrupting the toxic person. This will buy you more time to escape from them and even frustrate them.
Type 2: Toxic people have a habit of talking to us about those things, events, and situations that hurt us the most. Maybe we are out of work, and the toxic person will ask us about work. Perhaps we are undergoing a divorce, and they will try to probe deeply into the break-up topic. So they have a knack for touching our sensitive nerves.
However, everyone has some weak or sensitive areas. To counter their toxic questions, you can also change the topic to their sensitive areas. This is a very successful, tried, and tested technique. One or two difficult questions to the toxic person about their personal life, and you will find them running for cover. Hooray! You got rid of them.
Technique 4: Don’t Get into an Argument, However Tempting It May Seem
Toxic people WILL talk wrong and WILL talk bad and WILL irritate you. That is their job. That’s why they are called toxic people. These people wait to get you into an argument so that they can make you upset.
These people are very good at their skills. They know how to play their game well. They talk to people in such a tone and way that the other person gets pulled into an argument. Then seizing the opportunity, these toxic people clobber the other in the argument as non-toxic people don’t have the skill of endless arguing and spreading negativity.
So, the mantra is – Don’t get into an argument at all with toxic people. Ignore them. Keep a poker face.
If the toxic person tries to pull you into an argument or debate by making fun of you or irritating you, either walk away or laugh it out. Don’t answer back. Don’t justify. Don’t give explanations. That’s exactly what these toxic people want. They want the other to say something.
The moment the other says something, these toxic people pounce on the opportunity and have it their way. Knowing when NOT to argue is more important than knowing when to argue.
Technique 5: Attack is the Best Form of Defense: Give It Back to the Toxic Person in Style
There are certain situations where you feel that you have had enough of that toxic person and that now you need to take a stand and give it back to them. You have reached a stage where you don’t care about how it will affect relationships with that person and you are willing to take the risk of spoiling the bond because of that toxic person ruining your mind and life.
In such a case, analyze the weak points of that person and respond with well-chosen words that will hit that person hard. In many cases, the toxic person will be shocked and surprised at your aggressiveness and back off.
In some cases, the toxic person may get even more aggressive and mean, but you also raise your aggression level. By and by, a clear message will go out to the toxic person of ‘Don’t mess with me.’ Sooner or later, that toxic person will reduce or stop harassing you in whatever way they were doing, and you will find some peace within yourself.
Always remember, settlement always happens between equals. As long as you were tolerating the toxic person, they were pushing the boundary of torture against you. When you stand your ground and give back, they will slowly start respecting you and seeing you as an equal with whom they cannot take liberties. This will pave the way towards some kind of mutual respect and reconciliation in the years to follow.
