Why are some people born natural flirts and others couldn’t charm the backside of a bus if their life depended on it?
The power of flirting goes beyond attracting the opposite sex. Master the art of flirting and you also become a friend magnet and can use your skills to influence business relationships.
“You’ve either got it or you haven’t!” is often what you will hear men saying when they boast about their conquests. Women, on the other hand, are more coy when talking about a man they have met. So as not to appear full of herself, she will often say to her friends “Oooh, I don’t think he likes me, what do you think?” If she is a successful flirt, however, she will be thinking along the same lines of a man, “Yeah, he was putty in my hands!”
Flirting is an art requiring confidence without being OTT. A successful flirt knows how to get the balance just right; too much and there is a real danger you will be labelled as “slimy” (if you’re a man) and “tarty” (if you’re a woman).
If flirting doesn’t come naturally to you, you can learn to flirt by building your confidence, believing in yourself and interacting with other people.
Here are some basic flirting tips which can be practised at work and/or on a social scene.
1. Have Fun! First and foremost flirting is fun! Whether you are the flirter or the flirtee it makes both parties smile (on the inside as well as the outside!). Don’t take it seriously; be playful, be light-hearted, be infectious!
2. Eye to Eye Contact: Eye contact is one of our most powerful communicating mechanisms. Most people don’t have a problem making eye contact with someone they don’t find attractive but they become awkward in front of people they are attracted to.
Create eye contact with the person you want to flirt with for around 5 seconds. Just smile a little and look away slowly. Try this at least 3 times in the first 15 – 20 mins. Your target needs to know your interested and eye contact is the universal signal for openness. Be carefull not to stare so hard that you will burn a whole right through them, just keep it casual. And remember they are just as nervous as you.
If you tend to look away at people you like, practice making eye contact with people on your way to work, a quick glance and then turn away. This is a good way to build up your confidence. Don’t stare, however, this will make people feel uncomfortable!
Bonus:- SECOND GLANCE
Women if you have been eyeing someone off at a party, or anywhere really, but you have not been noticed yet try the second glance technique.
It’s so simple and I guarantee if they are even slightly interested you will very soon have their entire concentration focused on you. Its simple, it works the same, as eye contact but has to be done from a much closer distance. I usually do a walk by making sure i am about to walk into her line of sight.
And when I force her to fall into my line of site I look away and then turn back to look again very subtle, in a way that nobody would have even seen except her and instantly drop the smile and eye contact.
3. Make the first move: Don’t wait for someone to approach you. If it’s someone at work you’ve got your eye on, wait for them to go to the kitchen and then make a beeline for the coffee machine. The same applies in a bar, wait for them to go to the bar and then squeeze in next to them. Start with a simple “Hello” and take things from there. What have you got to lose?
4. Pay a compliment and receive a smile : A genuine compliment costs nothing and yet can make someone feel so special. If someone looks great, tell them! If someone has achieved something to be proud of, tell them! Once you start making someone feel good about themselves, they are more likely to want to spend more time with you! And if someone pays you a compliment, be proud of the compliment and say “Thank you”!
5. Ooze Confidence: The best flirts have a positive outlook on life and are happy with themselves. To successfully flirt you need to feel good about yourself before you are able to transmit this “feel good” factor to the opposite sex. If you display a positive and optimistic attitude to life you will find yourself connecting with people who are right for you.
6. Pitch your voice Learn to vary the tone, pitch and speed of your voice. A voice rich in tones sounds far more interesting than one dull note!
7. Listen: A good flirt has the ability to get people to open up and talk about themselves. Pay attention when someone is talking to you and ask questions to show you are interested. The best questions are the ones which will lead to someone remembering a positive experience about themselves.
8. Move your body! There are many positive body language signs: lingering eye contact, smiling widely, touching someone, head tilting to one side, running fingers through hair, undivided attention but if you really want to let go and flirt openly – dance! Dancing is a great form of self-expression allowing you to interact with someone and connect.
9. Smile, Smile, Smile!
Smiling is definitely your greatest flirting weapon. Experts agree smiling is the easiest and most effective way of making yourself look more attractive and approachable. Nothing to over the top just keep it realistic. If you have been successful in locking eyes and you have been receiving smiles. Its time to take the plunge, he/she is very interested in getting to know you better so what are you waiting for?
Make your smile contagious! The more you smile the more people will want to know you and be around you!
10. Don’t be rude! Flirting does not involve being sexually explicit! Nor does it involve being offensive if someone rejects your advances. If you have been flirting with someone and are not receiving positive feedback don’t get disheartened or take it personally, move on to the next person! You may want to consider a different approach if you are getting a lot of rejections.
11 ) PAY ATTENTION
Focus on what your target is saying, Rarely can you find someone more attractive then someone that finds you genuinely interesting, SO BE THAT PERSON. The one that finds them really interesting. Keep things simple and light listen to what they are saying and through in a few jokes here and there just to keep the smiles working. Don’t be afraid to touch them in a non-sexual manner. Often it can be received as very soothing especially coming from a man. As a man you should never underestimate the power of our hands when used in a sensual and caring manner.
Follow the signals above and keep them in mind throughout your first contact. Avoid the typical stereotype advances of trying to show off. Its as see through as glass and will only make you look like your really not genuine about getting to know them at all.
13) SELF PRUNING
Watch your targets body language when he/she is looking at you. Are they beautifying themselves? Its a subconscious thing we tend to groom ourselves a lot more frequently when we are attracted to someone. If your target is not showing these signs there is no reason why you can’t do them.
14) ITS IN THE LIPS
Another great subconscious trick is to lick your lips. No not like a porn star the best way to describe it is like you do when you have chaffed lips but a lil slower. Licking your lips is the minds way of recognizing that you are preparing for a kiss.
15) CROSSING YOUR LEGS
Women cross your legs. Its another sure fire flirting technique and sends guys crazy and wanting to see more.
16) SHAPE UP
Guys, stand tall and straight don’t slouch remember you’re trying to be the most prominent man in the room so feel like it and she will start to see it. Be calm and pull your shoulders back show that you are confident.
17) LET YOUR FEET DO THE TALKING
Body language experts state that women should stand with their feet no more then 6 inches apart and with toes pointing inwards. While men should position their feet 6 – 10 inches apart with their toes pointing outwards to promote the sign of dominance.
18) MIME
The highest form of any type of flattery has always been to imitate someone. Try not to go to overboard and make a fool of yourself. Just pick up on the way your target talks holds themselves slight similarities will make your target feel more comfortable.
It says flirting isn’t just about attracting someone romantically, but also about making friends and building business relationships. Some people are naturally good at flirting, but others can improve with practice and confidence.
Making eye contact, starting conversations, giving genuine compliments, being confident, listening well, using positive body language, and smiling are flirting Techniques. Avoid being rude or too forward, and to pay attention to how the other person reacts. Overall, it says flirting should be fun and friendly, and it’s important to show genuine interest in the other person.
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