I’m going to show you three patterns that affect how people think and feel.
As you’ll see for yourself, each of these patterns is very simple. There’s no rocket science here.
In fact, the first one applies to both men and women. So you’ll probably recognize this first pattern from your personal experience. But the second two patterns have to do with the way men experience relationships and emotion differently.
All three of the following patterns build on each other. They become something that is greater than the sum of their parts. Stick with me and you’ll develop a very useful insight about the way the man in your life thinks and feels.
1. The Happiness Pattern
People are happiest when making progress.
And it doesn’t matter how tiny or incremental your progress is. As long as you feel like you’re making progress, your brain is designed to release feelings of happiness. It’s like a built-in reward system designed to keep you interested when something seems to be working.
And the funny thing is, progress is more important than goal attainment. In other words, people are happier when they are making progress toward a goal than they are after having achieved the goal.
Yes, there’s always a little feeling of celebration after you reach a goal.
And that glow of positivity can stick with you for a few hours or a few days, depending on how important the milestone.
But in the end, that positive feeling fades. Because you get used to your new circumstance.
But happy feelings will return as soon as you set a new goal and start making progress again.
Have you noticed this pattern in your own moods? Many people don’t notice it. But numerous psychological studies have proven this to be a very reliable pattern for predicting human happiness.
If you want to be happy, set a goal, and make it a very small goal. Go for incremental progress. Young children play computer games because of the way these games regularly deliver a sense of satisfaction. And that satisfaction comes from making regular progress. They make progress by getting from one level to another, by gaining points, or by winning small battles.
In fact, this is why the modern era has seen the emergence of a new form of addiction: video game addiction. Video games are designed to deliver little doses of happiness. Because there’s always a little goal right in front of you. The rewards may be tiny, but they are nearly continuous.
Now consider this. Society and genetics have wired men to pursue achievement as a way of gaining approval. And that partly explains why a man only feels happy if he’s making incremental progress toward a goal.
This is why many women have successfully used the “playing hard to get” strategy. They entice a man with the hunt, tapping into his instinctual drive to pursue something just out of reach.
But how does it all end? What happens once he finally captures your love and affection? Sadly, the intensity of the relationship often fades.
Now here’s the good news. There is a never-ending way to engage your man’s drive to pursue you. And we’ll come back to that in just a minute.
But first, let’s examine another pattern.
2. Man on a Mission
If a guy has feelings for you, he’s going to want to make you happy. But there’s a problem with that.
The goal is too vague. And he’s not exactly sure how to accomplish it.
Plus, guys aren’t that good at predicting what will actually make you happy. Because their pattern recognition mostly tells them what makes a
guy happy. They don’t have very sophisticated models when it comes to the opposite gender.
As a result, men often feel frustrated in romantic relationships. Sometimes they get grumpy with you as if it’s your fault they can’t make you happy.
He’s frustrated because he’s not getting the little jolts of happiness that come from making progress.
Imagine a 14-year-old girl fleeing a war-torn country. She’s alone, and she only has a few possessions in the small backpack she carries with her.
Imagine her plight as she tries to figure out what to do upon arriving alone in a foreign country.
Now try to imagine the plight of millions of people fleeing from a war-torn nation. It’s not quite as easy, is it? And I bet you don’t feel the same tug of empathy on your heart when you try to imagine millions of people, do you?
Why is that? It’s because our capacity for feeling empathy declines as our ability to offer meaningful help declines.
This is a pattern of the human mind. A psychological effect called “compassion collapse.”
And here’s why it’s important. This phenomenon is much stronger for men. Because men are naturally less empathetic than women to start with.
Here’s the pattern I want you to recognize…
A man will drift toward not caring unless you trigger his empathy. And you can trigger his empathy by giving him ways to please you that are specific, concrete, and easy to picture in his mind.
Doing so triggers feelings of happiness, because now it feels like he’s making progress. He’ll feel excited about the relationship he’s building with you. He will feel more emotionally invested.
Now let me put this in perspective for you. The truth is, men enjoy being on a mission, no matter how small. So you don’t need to think up some elaborate plot to activate his mission-focused energy.
A problem can be very insignificant, but still trigger his mission-focused instincts. Lest you think I’m exaggerating, let me share an example of just how insignificant a mission can be while still bringing about a change in male behavior.
First, some background information. “Splash back” is the technical term for the mess men leave behind as urine splashes out of urinals and ends up on the floor and walls of a bathroom. As you can probably imagine, splash back is the bane of every custodian’s existence.
In fact, that’s probably what inspired Jos Van Bedaf, a custodian in Amsterdam’s Shiphol Airport, to do a little experiment. He had the idea to put a small decal with a picture of a fly in each of the urinals, to create a sort of “target practice” for the men using them.
Did it work? You bet. It cut the amount of splash back in half. Some estimates say it reduces splash back by 80%. All because they gave men a target to aim for.
Would it have worked to just nicely ask men to aim more carefully? No.
Because it would not have triggered his mission-oriented brain to care.
And apparently, the fly picture is particularly effective as a target, because men see it as something unsanitary and unconsciously think a stream of pee will kill it. Guys always respond well to the opportunity to be on a mission.
I know this example is a little gross. Sorry about that. But I shared it because it’s also kind of funny. Particularly because I know it would work on me.
Plus, this example illustrates a broader truth about how men think and react. Show a man any kind of target, and he’ll feel eager to prove his worth. Just make sure it’s a target he can easily see and understand. Watch for this pattern in the man you love. Once you begin to look for it,
you’ll see it all the time. You’ll begin to recognize how powerfully it impacts his choices and motivates his behavior. He wants to be on a mission.
Does it influence his relationship with you? You bet! And that’s why I want to show you one more secret about how the male mind works.
The Attraction Trip-Wire That Awakens a Man’s Deepest Longing for Love
Trip Wire: “A hidden trigger that sets off one or more explosive events.”
Deep within the heart of every man is an intense longing to be someone’s hero. This longing has ancient origins.
You see, the cause of this longing is written into the very fabric of his DNA. And there it lies, dormant… until one day, the right trigger unleashes its power.
I’d like to show you how to become that trigger, and how to awaken the full force of your man’s bonding instinct.
3. 3. The Power Of Story
But first, a story. It’s the story of human connection.
Before we can care deeply about someone, we must know something about their life story. Because stories evoke empathy. Stories allow us to picture ourselves in someone else’s shoes.
Stories form the foundation of all human connection. They create the sensation of one shared life experience.
It’s strange, but true, that we can even find ourselves rooting for thieves and criminals as long as we see their story unfold. Movies like Ocean’s Eleven and The Italian Job illustrate this well.
In the movie Ocean’s Eleven, actors George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon make for a cast of likable thieves. But beyond their good looks, we get pulled into the story.
We discover what’s driving Danny Ocean’s motivation to rob a casino. A casino that just happens to be owned by his ex-wife’s new lover.
We can empathize with Danny Ocean’s pain. And by the end of the movie, we are actually rooting for him to get away with it. To steal the money and disappear into the sunset with his ex-wife Tess by his side.
Perhaps stranger still is the way we respond to fiction in the first place. A skilled novelist can have me on the edge of my seat, rooting for a person who doesn’t even exist in real life.
Literary critics may scoff, but I actually liked the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer. I think my hand was actually trembling from adrenaline as the Volturi began to march across the field, intent on destroying Bella’s daughter.
But wait, that’s all make-believe. So how could it cause a physical reaction in my body?
The answer, of course, is the power of story.
Since ancient times, stories have been the primary means by which humans communicated important information. Because of that, our minds are literally wired for story.
Stories influence our emotions. They are at the heart of communication.
Allowing us to feel connected to each other.
When I reach the end of my life, I know which people I will want by my side. It will be those who have witnessed my life story.
The friendly, pretty nurse may be a wonderful person. But if she is a stranger to me, it doesn’t matter what positive attributes she has. I will still feel alone. Because she does not know my story, and I do not know hers.
Knowing this instinctively, she will expend great effort to quickly summon my friends and family. The people who know my story.
To trigger a man’s deepest feelings of attraction, you need to become a special part of his story. You do that by revealing your needs and allowing
him to help you meet them. Why? Because it triggers his hero instinct.
Here’s the formula for triggering a man’s hero instinct:
Story + Need = Activated Hero Instinct.
A man’s hero instinct compels him to seek a relationship that lets him take on the role of a provider. That’s why guys fall for women who know how to trigger this attraction tripwire.
It sets off a series of reactions in his emotional world. It makes him happy in a way that’s hard for women to understand. Because they do not share his deeply rooted instinct to become someone’s hero.
Many women are vaguely aware of a man’s desire to see himself as a provider. They understand, for example, why he may become depressed and pull away from others during a period of unemployment.
But these same women fail to recognize the power of the opposite effect…
Make a man feel like your hero, and you unleash his desire to commit to something more. He can’t help it. He just starts to see you differently.
It’s as if your relationship unlocks a version of himself he has always longed for. It feels right in a way he can’t put into words.
It unleashes his protective instincts, the noble aspects of his masculinity, and, most importantly, his deepest feelings of love and attraction.
If that sounds good to you, click here to learn more about this relationship enhancement tool. It’s something you can learn once, but then use for the
rest of your life. You already have needs and desires. Why not learn how to translate those desires into requests that trigger his hero instinct?
Then relax into the warmth and passion he is only capable of showing to a woman who has triggered his hero instinct. A woman who knows exactly
how to become the central character in his emotional world.
Ready to put this idea to use? Great! Because I’ve recorded an online video to show you a set of triggers you can use to get explosive results with this one simple technique. Click here now to see for yourself.
After watching this video, many women are surprised to learn a man can actually feel more deeply in love when he feels more deeply needed. That seems strange, doesn’t it? And yet that is the reality for men.
Many of us have a tendency to buy gifts of the sort we would like to receive ourselves. It can be like that with love. We try to love our partner the way we want to be loved.
So you make him feel special. Yet he seems unaffected by that. You speak your own native love language to him. Apparently, he speaks another.
But I’m here to tell you about one incredible, universal method you can use to grab his attention by triggering his hero instinct.
Click here now to discover an unfair advantage that works with all men, in every phase of life. Help him finally see you as the one.
